browser life

Thought I'd throw this in quickly in case I don't get around to an actual Halloween post. WARNING! Not for the easily offended!

'Best Come Back Line Ever.'

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around,' he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor. "I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said..... "A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"

I did finally finished editing my Florida pix last night. The one at left, while not specifically a Halloween theme, nevertheless conveys the irony of the fall season in Lakeland, Florida. This is actually Dan's grandfather's church.

Anyway, Dan has decided to take the tower drive in to the shop for some maintenance. It always freaks me out when he disconnects the computer, so I asked him to give me enough time to back up some files first. I know, I know, I should be doing backups regularly anyway, but I never bothered to update the backup application when we got the high speed internet, and I couldn't get it to download with the old dialup, and somewhere along the way, I just got out of the habit of doing it.

I don't foresee any problems, but it's like putting your car in the shop: they usually find something you weren't expecting, and it usually takes longer than you thought it would to fix it. Hope it isn't gone enough for me to experience withdrawal, heh heh.

Better finish my file backups.

Alas, my beloved Rockies were squashed by the Sox in just four games! Two games were embarrassing blowouts and the other two were heartbreaking squeakers. Tonight's was particularly frustrating because the Rockies came soooo close to tying the game in the bottom of the ninth!

But the Boston pitching would have shut pretty much any opposition down, I think. On the rare occasions a Rocky would get on base, the next batter would be struck out. And the Sox closers were as good as or even better than the starters.

I think most Colorado fans were just glad their team even made it this far. The Rockies have been seen as a bunch of nobodies by the baseball world for over a decade. I don't know if any team will beat their run of 21 wins in 22 games at the end of the season stretching into post-season.

Ah, but it would have been way cool if they had won one of the World Series games. I guess that gives them a goal for next year. Sigh.

Editing my Florida pix has taken much longer than I had anticipated. I guess that's bound to happen when one takes 400 photos in just a week, heh heh. I expect to finish up in a day or two now that I am done spending my evenings watching baseball.

And when the pix are finished, I'll pop back in and tell the tale of my Florida experience. And then get my ass to work on preparing for my trip to the Mayo Clinic as I have insurance issues, accommodation questions, medical records and other things to sort out.

So now I guess this applies to next year: GO! ROCKIES!

This month, the webmistress at But You Don't Look Sick requested material about cancer. While I haven't read any books on the subject or have any handy advice to dispense, I did submit a poem I wrote about my mom's battle with lung cancer.....
untitled poem

I miss being able to compose poetry. My brain will no longer let me sustain and fully describe a metaphor with the ease and eloquence I was able to muster when I was healthy.

But if any of my readers are interested in seeing more of my poems from 1997 to 2004, here they are:
fanfaire: Recent Poems

Ack. I'm dozing off. Good ol' post-vacation flare.

More later.

I'm baaaack! Wish I could say I'm feeling refreshed, but at least it's an earned exhaustion rather than just exhaustion for exhaustion's sake. Will provide details of my trip to Florida once I've finished editing the pix I took (I'm trying to put a rush on that so as to provide copies to Dan's family), which should take a few days.

I watched as much of the post-season Rockies games as I could while I was gone, difficult when they were in Mountain time and I was in Eastern time (their extra inning game last Friday went past 2am, I think). Incredible that they SWEPT the Phillies, SWEPT the D'Backs and now they are going to the WORLD SERIES! Fan-freakin-tastic!!

The only thing I would have enjoyed more was if I had gotten to see a post season game in person! How I miss Coors Field! And if I still lived in Denver I at least would get easy access to good press coverage; the Sioux Falls media assumes everyone's a Twins fan and focuses mainly on the American League happenings.

I got to see their second ever home game along with 80,000 other people at Mile High Stadium, an incredible experience. My employer, a Denver radio station, also owned the Rockies radio network, so I got to see quite a few games through mid-1994. I tried to get to as many as I could afford at Coors Field in the next few years after that until I got too sick to handle all the stairs.

I am soooo excited for the Rockies now! People are gonna be talking about their post-season sweeps for years to come.

Guess the only thing to do while waiting for the World Series to start is to take up the ever popular fan chant: GO! ROCKIES!

Uhhh, let's see how much info I can squeeze into a single post. First and foremost, I will be gone starting tomorrow until late on the 13th. I have no idea when I'll be up to posting after I get back.

I'm going to Lakeland, Florida for a week. Dan's grandfather is having a 90th birthday party on Sunday. I think pretty much all of his family is going to be there.

We're flying with Dan's parents and his aunt. Unfortunately, there are no direct flights from here to there; we have to go from Sioux Falls to Denver to Tampa and then drive to Lakeland, which is going to take us pretty much all day. Coming back, it's Lakeland to Tampa to Washington DC to Denver to Sioux Falls; I'm really hoping we don't miss a connection because I'm gonna be wiped out as it is.

One thing that doesn't help is that I have bronchitis AGAIN, third time in a year. A week ago, I went to lunch with the ladies in my aquacise class. Unfortunately, Sioux Falls still allows smoking in its restaurants, and the place they chose to eat didn't seem to have any ventilation system.

I didn't see anyone actually smoking, but I could smell cigaretts as soon as I walked in. Within five minutes, I was coughing and my eyes were burning. By the time we left, it felt as if my entire airway was on fire.

Over the weekend, that feeling persisted, and by Monday, I had a bacterial infection. The primary care doc was able to squeeze me in and get me on anti-biotics. So the infection is probably gone now, but I'm still coughing, have a particularly nasty sinus headache, and am a bit more wobbly than usual.

The doc told me that the cigarette smoke probably didn't cause the problem (I may have already had a minor infection and didn't know it), but it certainly made it a lot worse. She said that my throat and sinuses were quite inflamed and that the culprit was worsening dryness due to Sjogren's. She said I'll have to stay away from major irritants like smoke from now on if I want to avoid chronic bronchitis.

So yet another limitation on my already hermit-like lifestyle. Grumble. I have no idea if Florida allows smoking in its restaurants.

In other news, I have an appointment with the Mayo Clinic now. It's going to be on December 3rd. It was originally going to be sometime in January, but my primary rheumatologist in Denver said whatever magic words rheumatologists say, and voila! they bumped me up.

I am attempting to get authorization from my medical insurance, but I was told it is unlikely they will apply in-network benefits as they prefer I go to the Sioux Falls rheumatologists (been there, done that, no dice). If by some miracle they do cover it in-network, they will pay 80 percent. If they decide it is out of network, they only pay 60 percent, and it is entirely possible that they could decline to cover it at all if they deem it not medically necessary (I do have the number of a financial counselor handy once I know what scenario I'll be facing).

The appointment packet I was sent says I can expect to be at the clinic from three to six business days. This could be problematic as Dan will be missing work unpaid to take me to Rochester, Minnesota. So I may send him back to Sioux Falls to work a few days and come back out to pick me up when I'm done.

My initial appointment is in the rheumatology department. They may send me to other departments for additional testing as they deem necessary. I expect I'll also end up in neurology at the very least.

Speaking of neurology, can't remember if I mentioned it previously, but my neuropathy has gotten worse the past month or so after remaining stable for two years. In particular, I'm getting an odd sensation on my right hand and lower arm that feels like I have something on it, like a cobweb or something, then after awhile, that foreign body sensation turns into tingling and then into numbness. This is in addition to weird tingling in my face and the usual sharp pains in the rest of my limbs.

Now to the fun stuff: I have a new toy! My local cable company has a year long upgrade promotion. For the same price as what I was paying for basic cable, internet and basic phone service (long distance extra), I am getting over 100 channels PLUS a premium channel package (11 HBO channels) PLUS high speed internet PLUS free long distance PLUS a DVR!

So now I can record two shows simultaneously, put live TV on hold, and have the DVR record only the new episodes of an entire season of a show. Unlike video tapes, which typically record six hours or so, on a DVR I can record something like 50 hours. So while I'm in Florida, I won't miss any of the regularly scheduled programs that I like.

In the general awesomeness department, my favorite baseball team made it to the playoffs for only the second time ever! The Colorado Rockies won a tiebreaker game for the wildcard spot in 13 innings! And now they're 2-0 in a best of five series against the Phillies, which they did IN Philadelphia, and they'll have a chance to win the series tomorrow at home!

There was more, but this will have to do for now. I've gotta get up a 4 o'clock in the freakin' morning tomorrow (obviously I wasn't the one who chose that flight!).

I shall return sometime after the 13th.

My latest article for But You Don't Look Sick has been posted. Enjoy!
Review: Network Television Fall Season 2007

Have got lots of stuff to blog about, but I am leaving for Florida in the morning and need to take care of a few things first. Will pop in before I take off if I can.

Yayyyy! I have AT LAST finished my article for But You Don't Look Sick. It took me three doggone weeks, but to be fair, it is a pretty long article....

Moving Tips for the Chronically Ill

And as a bonus, I just wrapped up a piece on the 2007 primetime network TV fall season. I figure that should tide me over while I'm in Florida.

Lots of things going on, some good and some lousy. Will try to post about them before I leave town on Saturday.