browser life

Inspiration for the Day, February 3, 2012:

2012-02-03T00:09:00.002-06:00

"If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

- Thomas Edison

One down, how many more to go?

2012-02-02T01:02:00.003-06:00

Movie Review: "One For the Money"

If you were broke, what would you do to earn $50,000? Would take on a job for which you had no training? Even if that job were potentially dangerous? Those are the questions answered by Katherine Heigl in the comedy/mystery "One For the Money", which hit the theatres January 27th.

Based on the prolific Stephanie Plum series of novels by Janet Evanovich, Heigl is Plum, broke and desperate after losing her job as a lingerie buyer. She goes to work as a bounty hunter for her bail bondsman cousin. Trouble is, she doesn't know the first thing about how to bring in a bail jumper. But with dollar signs in her eyes and a chance to haul an ex-lover into jail, she conveniently overlooks her complete ineptitude and goes about searching for her target, Joe Morelli, a cop charged with murder.

Plum is given some cursory guidance by a pro who goes by the name of Ranger. We learn next to nothing about him except that he's cool under fire, has deadly aim, and may or may not operate outside the law. He buys Stephanie a gun, an action he probably regrets later.

One person who is excited about Stephanie's career choice is her grandmother, played by the delightful Debbie Reynolds. The funniest scene in the movie involves Grandma and a weapon at the dinner table. I am hoping they make a film of the second book in the series because Grandma is has a larger role in that one.

While tracking down and attempting to bring in Joe Morelli, Stephanie encounters many other colorful and/or shady characters, including a brutal prizefighter, his slimy manager, and a couple of hookers. Lula, one of the hookers, has plenty of curves, an even bigger attitude, and a wig for every occasion. She becomes Stephanie's ally during the investigation and her friend afterward.

Plum finds out the hard way that bounty hunting is much more difficult than it appears, especially when your target is clever. Thanks to Mr. Morelli, Stephanie finds herself in situations that are embarrassing, such as being handcuffed to a shower curtain rod, and frightening, such as being shot at. Nothing like learning as you go.

I must admit I had a bit of trouble at first adjusting to Heigl as Plum, as she had not been who I envisioned when I read the book. But she eventually did win me over. The rest of the casting was fine with me.

Most of the profanity that was in the book was left out of the movie, and the violence was toned down so that there was more implied than shown. I am guessing this was done to gain a wider audience and to better sell the story as a comedy. Some of the time line of the book was compressed, but none of the major plot elements were omitted completely.

There are eighteen books in the Stephanie Plum series. I don't know if there will be sequels for this movie, but if there are, "One For the Money" is a pretty good start to the saga.

Welcome to the National Corn League....

2012-01-26T23:22:00.000-06:00

Field of Dreams 2: NFL Lockout with Taylor Lautner from Taylor Lautner

Rest in peace, Etta....

2012-01-22T00:52:00.000-06:00

One example of why the newspaper industry is dying....

2012-01-19T01:19:00.003-06:00

On Saturday, I received a curious letter in the mail from the publisher of my local newspaper. It trumpeted an "improved" product coming February 1st, the improvement in question being a digital version of the newspaper that you could access on your tablet, smart phone or computer e-mail. For a mere 20 percent increase in the subscription rate, you got this plus full access to their website, which used to be free.

While this sounds lovely, the one thing their letter DIDN'T mention is that EVERYONE'S subscription rate was climbing 20 percent, whether or not you wanted a digital version. I have no cell phone, no portable electronic devices whatsoever, and I gave up on their poorly designed website some time ago. I called their customer service, and there was no option to continue to just get the regular newspaper for a lesser rate than the "deluxe" version.

Seems to me they honestly don't care whether or not you read the printed version of their publication. They are so busy pushing the digital product that they are driving away their traditional readers. People like me.

So I closed my account. I get my last newspaper February 1st. While I will miss one local, one national and three syndicated columnists whose articles run in this paper, I won't miss the rest of it very much. The content had become so poor that it was pretty much a journalistic joke, albeit not a funny one.

But having worked a decade in the newspaper industry, I felt compelled to tell them WHY my account was closed, so I wrote a letter to the editor. I'm pretty sure it won't get printed, but the act of writing it made me feel better. The following is what I sent:

Dear Editor:

Congratulations on placing a nail in the print media coffin. By springing a rather large subscription rate increase upon all your readers, you will discourage many of them from continuing to receive your product. Those who are disabled and/or have fixed incomes may not have portable devices, or even computers, on which to view your digital version. So why are you making them pay for something they will not use?

The quality and quantity of your newspaper has declined precipitously in the five years I have lived in this city. I see duplicate stories in the same edition, articles that end mid-sentence, headlines that don’t match the content of the story, spacing and format issues, poor grammar, and sentences where it is obvious words were left out. Can no one be bothered to even run a spell check? The end result is a publication that is unprofessional and an embarrassment. We are to pay more for that?

I have canceled my subscription. I have asked around, and I am not the only one who will be doing so. I am not fond of the local TV news, but at least they are not asking me to pay more for less.

It was only a matter of time, heh heh....

2012-01-18T00:40:00.001-06:00

"Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" from Aaron Paul

This is truly your friend....

2012-01-18T00:24:00.002-06:00

Got this from But You Don't Look Sick. I can definitely vouch for this product myself:

Bed, BACK, and Beyond: The Original Bed Buddy Back Wrap Product Review

I've had mine for at least 12 years. One of the nice things about it is that you can walk around with it on, handy if you want to stretch a little while your muscles are warming up. I also just put it flat on my pillow and lie in bed with it right behind my neck, helpful after a chiropractic adjustment.

WWJD about Tebow?

2012-01-17T01:24:00.001-06:00

LOVE it!

Inspiration for the Day, January 15, 2012:

2012-01-15T01:15:00.000-06:00

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

~Unknown Author~

Inspiration for the Day, January 14, 2012:

2012-01-14T01:08:00.000-06:00

"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing."

~Camille Pissarro

Got Sjogren's? Get this!

2012-01-12T01:14:00.003-06:00

Book Review: "The Sjogren's Book, Fourth Edition", edited by Daniel J. Wallace, M.D.

Sjogren's syndrome is an autoimmune disease that, while not rare, is not widely known. Until tennis star Venus Williams revealed recently that she had been diagnosed with it, most of the general public had not heard of it. That is why this book, published in September, is so necessary.

Sjogren's occurs when the immune system attacks the body's sources of moisture, altering or even destroying function. The most common areas affected are eyes and mouth, but it can also be systemic, involving many parts of the body at once with varying degrees of dryness and/or inflammation. It is classified as a rheumatic disease in the same family as lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. It can be secondary to another disease, or occur as a primary disorder. And it is much more widespread than most would ever suspect, occurring in one of every 70 Americans.

"The Sjogren's Book" is weighty, with 35 chapters and close to 400 pages. But it is the most organized and complete volume I have ever read about the disorder. Each chapter is authored by one or more experts on the subject covered. All relevant fields of medicine are represented. It would be appropriate reference source material for both patients and medical professionals, and any reader would learn something new.

The first segment of the book provides a general introduction and addresses an important question: is Sjogren's truly a syndrome, a group of symptoms without a known source, or a disease, in which we know how the body is affected even if we don't know why it starts? This is the first publication I've read that says science now knows enough about Sjogren's to classify it as a disease. The signs and symptoms are measurable and fairly predictable, enough so that international diagnostic criteria has been established.

The ailment was named after a Swedish ophthalmologist 70 years ago who noted its effects on eyes, mouth and joints. Little progress was made as to discovering the cause until recently, when DNA and other research grew more advanced. The latest findings are covered in this fourth edition in a four-chapter segment on the pathophysiology of Sjogren's. While I must admit some of this information went over my brain-fogged head, what I did grasp was fascinating. And I found the generous sprinkling of illustrations and charts to be quite helpful in improving my understanding of the disease process. I think most medical professionals could benefit immensely from learning this updated material.

The next twelve chapters are dedicated to covering the vast array of symptoms and complications of Sjogren's. The eyes and mouth each have their own chapter, but there are also segments on the internal organs, the central nervous system, gastrointestinal problems, gynecological issues in women, lymphoma, the salivary glands and ears, nose and throat. Also, diseases which most commonly accompany Sjogren's are described. Anyone newly diagnosed needs to read this section because it answers many questions about what Sjogren's can and cannot do to the body. It could also help those who have had the disease a long time recognize whether a new symptom might be a manifestation of existing disease or a different medical problem altogether and seek an appropriate medical specialist if needed. I found it gave me some reassurance that I wasn't imagining certain changes in my functioning, and I was better able to relay these symptoms to my doctor.

Once one knows about the various manifestations of Sjogren's, the logical followup is: what can be done about it? There is no cure, so the focus is generally on symptom management and limitation of disease progression. There are 10 chapters in "The Sjogren's Book" dedicated to treatments. Of particular interest may be the segments on managing fatigue and chronic musculoskeletal pain, as these are problems not widely addressed by the medical profession but nevertheless may be significant. Complementary and alternative therapies are also included so as to present as many reasonable options as possible.

Depending on one's age at diagnosis, most people with Sjogren's can expect to have it for decades. Thus long-term coping skills need to be developed. The final of this book contains five chapters about living with the disease. Subjects include: quality of life; emotional issues; dealing with stress; and recommendations for sex, sleep, surgery and vaccinations. In 2009, Social Security recognized Sjogren's as a potentially disabling ailment, so there is a chapter that covers the effects of disability and what to do if you need to file for and/or continue to receive long-term benefits. Finally, there is a resource manual for web, print and media.

"The Sjogren's Book, Fourth Edition" is the go-to book for the info you need on the disorder, even if you have the previous volumes. I'm going to keep my copy right by the computer and refer to it often.

Part of my history goes up in smoke....

2012-01-07T22:35:00.002-06:00

A friend of mine who lives in Topeka, Kansas let me know about this. It happened Thursday evening:

Fire Officials: Blaze At Former WIBW Building Intentionally Set

I worked at WIBW-AM for three and a half years as a technical producer, meaning I did all the behind the scenes stuff during broadcasts. I ran the control board, microphones for hosts, played the commercials, edited and aired pre-recorded material, monitored wire machines and police scanners, and did live weather reports. WIBW was the Topeka affiliate for the Royals Baseball Network, so there were a lot of listeners. It was my first job right out of college, and I was lucky to get it.

I was at work when the World Series was interrupted by an earthquake in San Francisco and had to go on air and ad lib because we lost the network feed and there was no one else to stall until we could get the signal back. I was at work during the student revolution in Beijing, listening to a network reporter get beaten up by the Chinese military during a live broadcast. Two of my co-workers, Aimee Sporer and Jerry Schimmel, went on to be famous in Denver, Aimee on TV news and Jerry as the voice of the Denver Nuggets (Jerry also survived a horrible plane crash in Sioux City).

The building was said to be haunted, but I never saw any evidence of this other than the local wildlife seeming unusually interested in the area. Deer and squirrels were plentiful on the hilltop and would often peer inside to see what I was doing. Even though the building was vacant at the time of the fire and would have been demolished eventually, it's a damned shame someone thought it would be fun to torch it, especially since a firefighter was injured.

Quite the trio, heh heh....

2012-01-04T02:23:00.000-06:00

Rave of the Day for January 2, 2012:

2012-01-02T02:03:00.001-06:00

One more post-holiday poem. Like the previous ones, it's from the 2002 archives and probably was forwarded to me by Ducky.....

The Month After Christmas

Twas the month after Christmas,
And all through the house
Nothing would fit me,
Not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
The eggnog I'd tasted
At the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvelous
Meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces
And beef nicely rare,

The wine and the rum balls,
The bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said,
"No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself
In my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again
To do battle with dirt---

I said to myself,
As I only can:
"You can't spend a winter
Disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last
Of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake,
Every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food
That I like must be banished
'Til all the additional
Ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--
Not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew
On a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits,
Or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot
And quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
And life is a bore---
But isn't that what
January is for?

Unable to giggle,
No longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all
And to all a good diet!

It's 2012!

2012-01-01T02:34:00.000-06:00

glitter-graphics.com

How the rest of the world rang in 2012....

2012-01-01T02:05:00.003-06:00

Got this link from one of my Facebook friends. Check out the spectacular pix and video:

Here comes 2012! Big Ben lights up the sky with firework display to ring in Olympic new year

My celebration was a bit more sedate. I watched some of the "Twilight Zone" marathon and the last "Thin Man" movie, played the Logo board game, put some rum in my Splenda-sweetened cola (I only do that twice a year), kissed my husband at midnight (first time in five years he was still awake at 12am), and viewed my neighbors' illegal fireworks from the living room.

Inspiration for the Day, December 31, 2011:

2011-12-31T01:47:00.000-06:00

"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."

- Mark Twain

I promised - my resolutions for 2012....

2011-12-31T01:45:00.004-06:00

My focus is primarily financial this year. Not because all else in my life is perfect (ha!), but because certain goals are no longer reasonable for me. For instance, my weight has been creeping upward, and it would be easier on my arthritic body if I dropped 10 or even 20 pounds, but I cannot exercise at a level that would enable me to achieve this, and I'm already eating as healthily as possible most of the time. Also, on the positive side, I have kept some of my resolutions from past years, like reading more, eating out less and attending church more regularly, so I don't have to re-visit them for the time being.

Here we go:

1. Try to get all the credit cards paid off by the end of 2012. If medical bills make this impossible (which is why we are currently carrying multiple balances), pay the most the budget will allow.

2. Funnel some of each paycheck into savings whenever possible to cover emergencies without using the credit cards.

3. Try to ease back into a more practical sleep schedule, even when in a flare. Maybe start with going to bed just 15 minutes earlier? Gradually work back to a bedtime of no later than midnight.

4. Keep foods containing artificial colors and/or flavors to a bare minimum (I got sick Christmas Eve eating just a tiny bit of Neopolitan ice cream as a treat). This is an extension of the "avoiding non-nutritional food" rule.

5. Ease into extending the Gazelle workouts to 30 minutes on a consistent basis. If this is achieved prior to year's end, start gradually increasing the intensity to get the heart rate above a resting level.

6. Start scrapbooking again!

That should be sufficient. Gotta leave myself something to work on in 2013, right? Ha!

It's that time of year....

2011-12-31T01:35:00.002-06:00

This appeared in But You Don't Look Sick. It has a fairly balanced viewpoint:

New Year's Resolutions: Why They Are So Tricky

I tend to think of resolutions as goals, and I need to feel like I'm making progress on SOMETHING, even if that something is vague or small. I used to get discouraged because I approached the whole thing with an either/or mentality, meaning when I broke a resolution, I gave up. But if anything, chronic illness has forced me to learn to be a lot more flexible in my goals, and that if I mess up or have a day when I simply cannot achieve a goal, I try again the next day or whenever it is possible to do so. I will type up my own list for 2012 in a little while.

While I'm at it....

2011-12-30T02:49:00.002-06:00

Here is the trailer to the movie version of "One For the Money". I might just have to check this out in the actual theatre:

One For the Money

I am beyond spoiled as of Christmas. I have gift cards to BOTH the regular and the discount theatres! They have no expiration dates, but I'm pretty sure they'll be used up before 2012 comes to a close, heh heh.

It's no mystery why this book is so popular....

2011-12-30T02:29:00.002-06:00

Book Review: "One For the Money: A Stephanie Plum Novel" by Janet Evanovich

I'm not much of a mystery reader. But about five years ago, my sister gave me the first four Stephanie Plum novels for Christmas. I tackled "One For the Money", the first in the series (which is now up to 18 books), on a plane to Florida. By the time I landed, I was almost sorry the flight was over because I was already hooked and wanted to find out how the book ended. Now this novel is being made into a major motion picture starring Katherine Heigl which comes out in theatres on January 27th, so I picked it back up recently and reread it.

The Stephanie Plum books are not mysteries in the traditional sense. For one thing, the main character is not exactly a cop or private investigator. She's a bounty hunter, sort of. Stephanie is a wise cracking New Jersey native who finds herself between jobs and goes to work for a relative that is a bail bondsman. Desperate for cash, she agrees to skip tracing, meaning she is supposed to bring in folks who jumped bail. Trouble is, some of those people aren't too keen on being found. To make matters worse, Stephanie has seriously underestimated what she has gotten herself into.

The other thing that makes this book unlike traditional mysteries is that it's laugh-out-loud funny. Some of the humor is crude, so it is not for the easily offended, but I found it so hilarious that people on the plane were giving me sideways glances. Stephanie is a klutz, has no idea how to use a gun, and has remarkably bad luck, especially with vehicles and with men. This lands her in some rather embarrassing situations.

Stephanie's first assignment is a doozy: a cop named Joe Morelli, who might be referred to politely as a "frenemy". Joe has been accused of murder and has no intentions of coming in until his name is cleared. Stephanie not only has to figure out how to nab Joe, but also how to keep herself safe from those who knew the murder victim and don't want her snooping around. From commandeering Morelli's vehicle to being terrorized by a psycho prize fighter, she's in way over her head.

Punctuating the more humorous scenarios, such as dinner at her family's house (Stephanie's grandmother is a laugh riot), there are some truly scary moments that hit you out of the blue because you're busy being amused by the preceding sentence. Like any good mystery, you never know quite where the story is going or what the characters are going to do. But this novel, like the other five in the series I have read so far, has a satisfying if unpredictable conclusion.

Even if you have never been to New Jersey, you will feel like a native by the time you finish "One For the Money". The vivid descriptions of the Trenton neighborhoods and the colorful personalities to be found there are a big part of the novel's charm. And it is easy to identify with Stephanie's awkward brassiness.

With only fourteen chapters, this book is a surprisingly quick read, something to breeze through on a vacation or even a single afternoon if you're ambitious. It is widely available in paperback. You probably have time to pick it up and devour it before the movie comes out.

I'd really LOVE to have a sub!

2011-12-29T01:25:00.002-06:00

This article appeared in the Celiac.com newsletter in September (yes, I am MONTHS behind in posting stuff). I find this VERY encouraging:

Subway Slowly Expands Gluten-free Tests

I need to do some investigating to see if any of the restaurants near me are participating. It is a pain in the tuckus to find a fast gluten-free meal while traveling, but there are Subways everywhere. If more of them offer gluten-free options, it would help immensely.

Rave of the Day for December 28, 2011:

2011-12-28T02:00:00.000-06:00

Got a theme going here. More from the 2002 archives. I've seen this several times and don't know the original source....

THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS

It's a week after Christmas,
I'm crabby and I'm broke.
I'm so full of ham and fruitcake,
I think I'm gonna croak!

It's nice to see the relatives.
I wonder when they'll leave?
They've been camping in my bathroom
Since early Christmas Eve.

They're eating everything in sight
And sleeping in my bed.
I've been sacked out in the basement
With my old beagle Ned.

The relatives have all gone out
And left their screaming brats.
The toilet bowl is all plugged up
And I can't find the cat!

It's Christmastime at my house,
The relatives are here.
They eat me out of house and home
And drink up all my beer.

I love the decorations
And the sleigh bells in the snow,
But I wish those pesky relatives
Would take their kids and go!

Those cookie crunchers fed the dog
A twenty pound rib roast.
His feet are sticking in the air
Like skinny old fence posts.

Now they're in a free-for-all,
The girls against the boys.
They're fighting over boxes
'cause they're bored with all their toys.

My mother-in-law is snoring
In my favorite TV chair.
Those kids are stringing lights on her
And tinseling her hair.

I oughta wake her up
Before the fireworks begin,
But I wanna see those blue sparks fly
When they plug her in!

I love the decorations
And the sleigh bells in the snow,
But I wish those pesky relatives
Would take their kids and go!

Rave of the Day for December 27, 2011:

2011-12-27T01:58:00.001-06:00

Another holdover from the 2002 archives. I suspect Ducky was the culprit here too, heh heh.....

'Twas the Night After Christmas By Jeff Foxworthy

'Twas the night after Christmas
And all through the trailer,
The beer had gone flat
And the pizza was staler.

The tube socks hung empty,
No candies or toys.
And I was camped out
On my old Lay-Z-Boy.

The kids they weren't talking
To me or my wife,
The worst Christmas they said
They had had in their lives.

My wife couldn't argue
And neither could I,
So I watched TV and my wife,
She just cried.

When out in the yard
The dog started barkin'.
I stood up and looked
And I saw Sheriff Larkin.

He yelled, "Roy, I am sworn
To uphold the laws
And I got a complaint here
From a feller named Claus."

I said, "Claus,
I don't know nobody named Claus,
And you ain't taking me in
Without probable cause."

Then the Sheriff he said,
"The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me,
Just what's he look like?"

The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller,
With a big beer gut belly,
That shakes when he laughs
Like a bowl full of jelly.

He sports a long beard,
And a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff, that sounds
Like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes, Roy"
The Sheriff he said.
"The man I'm describing
Is dressed all in red.

I'm here for the truth now,
It's time to come clean.
Tell me what you've done,
Tell me what you've seen."

Well, I started to lie,
Then I thought what the hell,
It wouldn't have been the first time
That I've spent New Year's in jail.

I said, "Sheriff, it happened
Last night about ten.
I thought that my wife
Had been drinking again."

When she walked in from work,
She was as white as a ghost.
I thought maybe
She had seen one of them UFO's.

But she said that a bunch of deer
Had just flown over her head,
And stopped on the roof
Of our good neighbor Red.

Well I ran outside to look
And the sight made me shudder,
A freezer full of venison
Standing right on Red's gutter.

Well my hands were a shakin'
As I grabbed my gun.
When outta Red's chimney
This feller did run.

And slung on his back
Was this bag over flowin'.
I thought he stolen Red's stuff
While old Red was out bowling'.

So I yelled, "Drop it fat boy,
Hands in the air!"
But he went about his business
Like he hadn't a care!

So I popped off a warning shot
Over his head.
Well he dropped that bag
And he jumped in that sled.

And as he flew off,
I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent Roy,
I'll see ya in court."

Rave of the Day for December 26, 2011:

2011-12-26T01:55:00.000-06:00

From the 2002 archives. Author unknown, but probably forwarded to me by Ducky....

'Twas The Day After Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas,
And all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin',
Even the mouse.

The toys were all broken,
Their batteries dead;
Santa passed out,
With some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons
Just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family
Continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt,
New Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen
And started to clean.

When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink
To see what was the matter.

Away to the window
I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains,
And threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering
Eyes should appear,
But a little white truck,
With an over-sized mirror.

The driver was smiling,
So lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said
"U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills,
He grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them
Into our mailbox.

Bill after bill,
After bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting,
He called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's,
Now Penney's and Sears!
Here's Robinson's, Levitz's
And Target and Mervyn's.

To the tip of your limit,
Every store, every mall,
Now charge away--charge away--
Charge away all!"

He whooped and he whistled
As he finished his work.
He filled up the box,
And then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck,
And he drove down the road,
Driving much faster
With just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim
With great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got --
You'll be paying all year!"

Inspiration for the Day, December 25, 2011:

2011-12-25T02:19:00.000-06:00

"What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace."

~ Agnes M. Pahro

Have a most joyous holiday!

2011-12-25T01:40:00.000-06:00

glitter-graphics.com

Bark if you like!

2011-12-24T14:36:00.000-06:00

Who says dogs don't smile?

2011-12-24T02:25:00.003-06:00

Got this from the "Life with Dogs" page on Facebook. This is one happy pup:

Golden Loves Guitar

Gonna mostly take it easy tomorrow until time to go to church. We go to my sister-in-law's immediately afterward and will be up late. Then it's back to church Christmas morning and then probably the rest of the day with Dan's family. Thanks to all the sweet, beautiful people who have sent cards, letters and e-mails this holiday season. It's good to be reminded how blessed I am.

If this doesn't make you dance, it might make you laugh!

2011-12-24T01:55:00.000-06:00

Inspiration for the Day, December 24, 2011:

2011-12-24T01:43:00.003-06:00

Christmas Eve Prayer

On a night like this 2000 years ago, a child was born in hope to change the world. Tonight - somewhere - a child is being born in hope to change the world.

And light shines.

Tonight - somewhere - someone who is ready to do harm pauses and remembers a child from long ago . . . and chooses hope and peace instead of violence.

And light shines.

Tonight - somewhere - someone who is lonely and afraid is comforted by a stranger . . . and knows a moment of hope and love.

And light shines.

Tonight - somewhere - someone who is hungry or naked receives the gift of food or clothing . . . and knows hope, feeling full and warm.

And light shines.

. . . we are thankful that tonight - here and there - people choose to act with peace, with love, with generosity, with mercy . . . and Christ is born again in hope . . .
Gracious God, creator and lover of the universe, be born in us again, as you were born long ago. Be born in us as you continue to be born again and again in the words and deeds of faithful people. Be born in us as light, as joy, as peace, as justice. Be born in us so that we may be the light of your love in this time and in this place. Amen.

Inspiration for the Day, December 23, 2011:

2011-12-23T01:49:00.000-06:00

A Young Pastor's Christmas Gift
By John William Smith

In 1962 I was preaching in Indianapolis, Indiana. I was single, and it was Christmas time. I was headed home to Michigan to enjoy the holidays with my family. It was an extremely cold day, and it was snowing.

The wind was howling out of the North, blowing thick clouds of fine flakes across the road - it looked like a blizzard. The roads were icy in places, and there was little traffic. Somewhere near Ft. Wayne, Indiana, I saw a soldier standing under an overpass. He had a green army cap pulled as tight and low as possible over his head, his collar was pulled up around his ears, his hands were shoved down in his pockets, and he had a stuffed duffel bag standing beside him.

I was driving a Chevrolet Corvette, and I was going very fast - faster than I should have been, considering the road conditions. As I sped by, the soldier jerked one hand out of his pocket and raised his thumb. My Corvette had two seats - not a front and back seat, but two seats side by side - and I was in one of them. The trunk was big enough to hold three loaves of bread and a pound of lunch meat. Not only was my limited trunk space stuffed full with the clothes and boots I would need for my stay in Michigan, the front seat was stacked high as well, with the presents that I had purchased for my folks and my nieces and nephews.

When I saw the soldier, I was going much too fast to stop, and I was well down the highway before I gave it much thought. I told myself that I couldn't possibly get him and his duffel bag in the car - I debated about the terrible inconvenience and delay it would cause if I did, and by the time I decided that perhaps I ought to at least offer to help, I was two miles down the road and out of sight. But my Christian Conscience really went to work on me.

It was so cold, traffic was almost nonexistent - he was a soldier - and it was Christmas. The inner battle raged for another three miles.

Finally, I decided I would never get any peace unless I offered to help, so I made a U-turn and went back. I hoped with all my heart that someone else had picked him up.

That way, I could satisfy my conscience and not be inconvenienced - wouldn't that be great? But he was still there, looking more forlorn, lonely, and cold than ever. I was disgusted. I pulled up and rolled down the window. He came running, stumbling on his numb feet, dragging the duffel bag. He leaned over and stuck his head in the window. His face was bluish, his teeth were chattering, his eyebrows and eyelashes were matted with frozen snow, and he could scarcely speak intelligibly.

"Thanks so much for stopping", he said. "I had about given up hope."

That was not what I wanted to hear.

"Where are you going?" I asked, hoping that it was in some direction that would alleviate me from further responsibility. "I live in Michigan, in Taylor Township," he said hopefully. That was really discouraging. It wasn't directly on my may, but it wasn't too much out of my way either.

"I'm going to Royal Oak," I said reluctantly. "Oh," he said, "I know where that is. That's great! If I could just ride with you to Ann Arbor, it would mean a lot to me. I'm almost frozen; I can't feel my ears or feet any more," he said plaintively.

"I don't think I can possibly get both you and your things in," I said.

"If you'll let me, I'll get in - I promise you. I've been standing here for three hours."

I told him to try getting in, and we began rearranging things. The duffel bag was almost as big as he was, and there was only one place for it - the passenger seat. No matter how he put it in the car, he couldn't get in himself. I suggested that maybe he could hide it somewhere and come back for it later. He said he couldn't possibly do that; it had his kids' Christmas presents in it, and he wasn't going anywhere without it. I finally got out, walked around the car, and told him to sit down in the passenger seat. As he sat there, I wedged the duffel bag between his legs and between the floor and the roof of the car. I sandwiched all of my presents around him - and I slammed the door. He couldn't move, he couldn't see out either the windshield or his side window - but he was in. I still don't know how we did it.

Once he began to get warm, he began to talk. I found out he was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. "Didn't I see you go by about five minutes ago?" he asked. I really felt stupid.

"Ummm, yes," I said. "You mean you turned around and came back?!" I nodded an affirmative.

"Why would you do that?" I paused a long moment.

"Well, you see, I was raised in a home where helping people who were in need was very important. In addition, I'm a minister - actually, it's more than that - I'm a Christian, and if it weren't for that, I'd probably still be going. I have as hard a time doing the right thing as most folks. I fought with this decision for five miles - it's Jesus who makes me do things like turn around and come back. When I don't do the right thing, I have this feeling He's looking at me, and He's so disappointed that I can't stand it."

"Oh!" he said. "you don't know how that convicts me. I'm going to tell you something I never thought I'd tell anybody. I'm no Christian, but my wife is the best person in the whole world, and she goes to church all the time and takes the kids. Truthfully, I've done everything I could to discourage her, but she just keeps going. She's all the time trying to get me to go, telling me that someday I'm going to wish I had.

"Do you know why I'm here hitchhiking? Let me tell you a little story. I was turned down for holiday leave because I got drunk and caused some trouble at the base. I was sick about it. I haven't seen my wife and kids for six months. A friend of mine, who's single, found out at the last minute that his folks were coming to visit some relatives who live close to the base during the holidays. He went to our commanding officer and volunteered to take my duty, if he would let me go home.

He gave me permission, but I had spent all my money buying presents, which I was going to mail home, so I decided to start hitchhiking. My family doesn't even know I'm coming. I wasn't sure I'd make it, and I didn't want to disappoint them. I've been standing there for three hours, thinking. I watched folks drive by, and it occurred to me that some of them must be Christians, and it made me feel pretty bitter - until I got to thinking about what a lousy person I am, and I knew if I was them, that I probably wouldn't stop either.

"Let me tell you something embarrassing - I got so cold, so lonely, and so desperate that I started to pray - honest to God I did - it was so humiliating. I told God that if he would help me, I'd do better. And you know what? About that time you showed up, and you told me that you came back because of Jesus - now what do you make of that?"

"Well, first I'd say that maybe there's more to Christianity than either of us thought, and second, I'd say you'd better start doing better." I found out exactly where he lived, and we agreed that I could get him pretty close before I had to go in another direction. I think I knew what I was going to do long before I actually said anything. As we approached the intersection where I was going to let him out, I told him that I had made up my mind to take him home.

About two hours later, we pulled up in his driveway. It was almost dark.

He was really excited. He asked me to blow my horn, and I did. A few minutes passed, and the inside door opened slowly. The glass in the outside door was frosted over, and whoever was looking out could only tell that there was a car in the driveway. The outside door opened, and a five-or six-year old, barefooted boy peeked around the door. When he saw my sports car, he came out on the porch and peered intently at us. His dad opened the door and stepped out.

"Hi, David, it's Daddy; I'm home for Christmas!" He started to say more, but the boy had seen the uniform and heard the voice.

The boy's face lit up, and he turned back into the house. I could hear him distinctly - "Mama, Daddy's home," he yelled shrilly. "Daddy's Home! Mama! Mama! Daddy's home for Christmas!"

The door opened again, and it didn't open slowly this time - it was thrown open. A woman dressed in a bathrobe and house slippers came running down the steps, her hair flying in the wind, oblivious to the snow and the cold, eyes and mouth opened wide with excitement, with joy etched in every line of her face. "Oh, Carl," she said, "Oh, Carl, you're home. Praise God, you're home.

The kids and I have been praying every day that, somehow, God would send you home."

She was followed by a skinny, fair-haired, ten-year-old girl and finally by a towheaded, blanket-toting, two or three-year-old girl. They kissed and hugged and laughed and cried, and they danced in the cold and the snow until the soldier finally disentangled himself from them long enough to introduce me.

"This is John," he said. "He's a minister and he's also a Christian; and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. And I'm going to tell you something honey, right here and now. I told John that I had promised God that I was going to do better, and I am. I'm going to stop drinking, be a better husband, a better father - a better man - and we're going to start going to church together."

I have never witnessed such gratitude in my life. They all had to hug me and kiss me - even the two-year-old - and they told me what a blessing I was to them and that they owed me a debt they could never pay. I was so embarrassed, because I was so unworthy. I had grudged the whole thing until after we had started talking. I wanted to tell them that I didn't deserve any thanks.

I tried to leave, but they simply wouldn't allow it. I had to go in the house. I had to eat something and drink something; I had to accept a gift from them - yes, I had to. They would not allow me not to, and the more they did, the better and the worse I felt.

I was so embarrassed. You know why? I had just witnessed something private - a family thing - something I wasn't part of - something not meant for outsiders - and, yes, I was - I was embarrassed. And you know what else?

I envied Carl. I thought that it must be wonderful beyond description to be loved by a woman like that and missed like that and to be so unworthy - and I think Carl was just beginning to understand what he had. I have learned since then that only those who have come to know and feel the love of God can love the unworthy - and I have also learned that we are all unworthy.

Carl was home. I think that at that moment, home meant more to him, perhaps, than it would ever mean again. And when I got to my home and saw my folks and told them why I was late, they were so proud of me - and I was a little proud of myself. Home was somehow brighter, warmer, more dear to me than it had ever been before. Every human longing - bound up in the inherent yearning to be loved and to be "home" and to experience the peace and security that "home" signifies - has found its fulfillment in Jesus who said, " I go to prepare a place for you." Everything we ever dreamed of home being - what it was or was not - is in that place. Jesus has given purpose, even to the dream of death, because for those who know God - that is the way home.

"How silently, how silently,
the wondrous gift is given.
So God imparts to human hearts,
the blessings of His heaven.
No ear may hear His coming,
but in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him still,
the dear Christ enters in."

Jesus comes to us in many ways. He came to me in the form of a freezing soldier trying to get home for Christmas. He came to a freezing soldier in the form of a young minister trying to find his way to God. Either one of us could have missed Him.

I hope Jesus comes to you this Christmas too, and His coming is always in an unexpected way - don't ever miss Him.

Inspiration for the Day, December 22, 2011:

2011-12-22T01:50:00.001-06:00

The Christmas Story in a Modern Context by Bishop Shelby Spong

Far back beyond the beginning, stretching out into the unknowable, incomprehensible, unfathomable depths, dark and void, of infinite eternity behind all history, the Christpower was alive. This was the Living, bursting, pulsing, generating, creating, smoldering, exploding, fusing, multiplying, emerging, erupting, pollenizing, inseminating, heating, cooling power of life itself: Christpower. And it was good! Here all things that we know began their journey into being. Here light separated from darkness. Here Christpower began to take form. Here life became real, and that life spread into emerging new creatures evolving into ever higher intelligence. There was a sacrifice here and a mutation there. There was grace and resurrection appearing in their natural order, occurring, recurring, and always driven by the restless, creating, energizing life force of God, called the Christpower, which flowed in the veins of every living thing forever and ever and ever and ever. And it was good!

In time, in this universe, there emerged creatures who were called human, and the uniqueness of these creatures lay in that they could perceive this life-giving power. They could name it and embrace it and grow with it and yearn for it.

Thus human life was born, but individual expressions of that human life were marked with a sense of incompleteness, inadequacy, and a hunger that drove them ever beyond the self to search for life's secret and to seek the source of life's power. this was a humanity that could not be content with anything less.

And once again in that process there was sacrifice and mutation, grace and resurrection now in the human order, occurring, recurring. And it was good!

Finally, in the fullness of time, within that human family, one unique and special human life appeared: whole, complete, free, loving, living, being, at one, at peace, at rest. In that life was seen with new intensity that primal power of the universe, Christpower. And it was good! Of that life people said: Jesus, you are THE Christ, for in you we see and feel and experience the living force of life and love and being of God.

He was hated, rejected, betrayed, killed, but he was never distorted. For here was a life in which the goal, the dream, the hope of all life is achieved. A single life among many lives. Here among us, out from us, and yet this power, this essence, was not from us at all, for the Christpower that was seen in Jesus is finally of God.

And even when the darkness of death overwhelmed him, the power of life resurrected him; for Christpower is is life eternal, without beginning, without ending. It is the secret of creation. It is the goal of humanity.

Here in this life we glimpse that immortal, invisible, most blessed, most glorious, almighty life-giving force of this universe in startling completeness in a single person. Men and women tasted the power that was in him and they were made whole by it. They entered a new freedom, a new being. They knew resurrection and what it means to live in the Eternal Now. So they became agents of that power, sharing those gifts from generation to generation, creating and re-creating, transforming, redeeming, making all things new. And as this power moved among human beings, light once more separated from darkness. And it was good! They searched for the words to describe the moment that recognized the fullness of this power living in history, living in the life of this person. But words failed them.

So they lapsed into poetry: When this life was born, they said, a great light split the dark sky. Angelic choruses peopled the heavens to sing of peace on earth. They told of a virgin mother, of shepherds compelled to worship, of a rejecting world that had no room in the inn. They told of stars and Oriental kings, of gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. For when this life was born that power that was and is with God, inseparable, the endless beginning, was seen even in a baby in swaddling clothes lying in a manger.

Christpower. Jesus, you are the Christ. To know you is to live, to love, to be. O come, then let us adore him!

Santa will be ho-ho-ho-ing at this one!

2011-12-22T01:43:00.002-06:00

A rather hilarious article from But You Don't Look Sick, just in time for Santa to load up his sleigh. Wish I had thought of it:

Why, Yes, Virginia...There Really ARE Spoonies!

I wonder if Santa could bring me some energy, PLEASE? Hard to explain to healthy folks what a mixture of joy and dread this holiday season brings those of us who are sick. The dread is because we know that even the most joyful stuff will wear us out so much that we can't function for days, weeks or even months afterward.

Inspiration for the Day, December 21, 2011:

2011-12-21T01:52:00.000-06:00

"Before Santa and presents and shopping and all the attendant Christmas (stuff) got involved, this holiday was enshrined to commemorate a guy who got nailed to a tree for daring to tell people to be kind to one another. If you have two cloaks, He said, give one away. Remember those who have less than you, be charitable, be good, be merciful."

- William Rivers Pitt

Counting down the months (12!) until this comes out....

2011-12-20T23:58:00.000-06:00

Bonus Inspiration for the Day, December 20, 2011:

2011-12-20T05:38:00.000-06:00

"Every gift which is given, even though is be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection."

~Pindar

Inspiration for the Day, December 20, 2011:

2011-12-20T02:12:00.001-06:00

Here's one for the troops. Don't know the original author, but I found it on Fibrohugs in 2002....

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST
WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTEL,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS FOR MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

Pawsitively adorable!

2011-12-20T01:20:00.002-06:00

Got this link off the "Life With Dogs" page on Facebook. It doesn't get much cuter than this:

Puppy Christmas

Am STILL fighting my way out of a mega-flare, worst one I've had in years, so I'm probably not gonna get everything done that I would like to prior to Christmas. I know a lot of people say things like "I wish I could sleep all day!" But trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Rave of the Day for December 20, 2011:

2011-12-20T00:53:00.004-06:00

Got this from the "Fibromyalgia Funnies" Facebook page. I think I posted some of these before, but they are too hilarious not to re-run....

Mentally Unhealthy Holiday Songs

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and......

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy... oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate?... why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle ! Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Excellent song....

2011-12-19T21:04:00.000-06:00

Inspiration for the Day, December 19, 2011:

2011-12-19T03:02:00.000-06:00

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Happy howlidays!

2011-12-18T01:40:00.000-06:00

Watch More Christian Videos on GodVine.com

Season's greetings....

2011-12-16T17:40:00.002-06:00

Ran across this on But You Don't Look Sick. It's got some good ideas:

Tips for Writing Out Christmas Cards Easily

My mode of operation differs slightly. I keep all my mailing addresses on 3x5 cards in alphabetical order in a little box. That way, it's portable so I can take it to wherever I'm working on the cards (I don't have any portable electronics). If someone's address changes, I just write the new one on the card with a date, or make up a new card.

I do buy my stamps all at once. I buy 100 of those forever stamps, which last me about a year. I always get the self-adhesive kind (I hope they don't still make the ones you have to lick).

Because of my arthritis, I type up a generic holiday letter on the computer and print out as many copies as I need and then just sign the card with the letter enclosed. Yes, it's a bit impersonal, but if I need to add something, I just hand-write a sentence or two. With people whom I see regularly, I just do the card only.

I use address labels so I don't have to hand-write the return address. The cards are usually purchased after Christmas. If I have any left over from this year, I save them for next year.

For people whom I e-mail, I do e-cards if I'm in touch with them regularly. I haven't figured out what I'm sending yet; probably should get on that.

Rave of the Day for December 15, 2011:

2011-12-15T00:54:00.002-06:00

Current (although I think I've read a few of these before) funny stuff courtesy of Pete. Happy ho-ho-holidays!

The Philosophy of Ambiguity

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

 Please enjoy and understand the following:

   1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

  2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.  

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.  

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

  5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

  6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.  

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

  8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

  9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?  

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?  

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"   

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?  

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?  

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?  

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?   

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

  17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?  

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?  

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?  

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?  

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?  

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

  23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?  

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?  

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

  26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?  

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?  

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?  

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?  

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

  31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?  

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?     

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?  

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?

Rave of the Day for December 14, 2011:

2011-12-14T02:29:00.002-06:00

If you try hard enough, you can rationalize anything, heh heh. Food humor courtesy of Ducky and the 2002 archives....

HOLIDAY DIET TIPS

If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.

Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.

Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.

If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.

Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.

STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

Rave of the Day for December 13, 2011:

2011-12-13T02:15:00.002-06:00

Another funny from 2002. Betcha I got it from Ducky originally....

CAT DREAMS -- 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

On the twelfth day of Christmas my mistress gave to me --

twelve toys from Macy's

eleven mice a running

ten balls of yarn all tangled

nine frogs a leaping

eight dogs on leashes

seven pounds of catnip

six cans of sardines

five litter pans

four strutting birds

three quarts milk

two chicken breasts

and a pheasant under glass beneath the tree.

Check out Katy Perry's "Dog Days" imitation....

2011-12-12T17:43:00.000-06:00

How far would you go to save a pup?

2011-12-12T17:23:00.003-06:00

Got this link via a Facebook friend. Amazing story....

Man Rescues a Puppy From a 350 Foot Canyon

While I've never rappelled down a canyon to a trapped dog, I did once throw myself in front of another dog who was attacking mine (this German shepherd would have killed my English springer spaniel). I was bitten and thrown into a wall, but it was worth it because my dog, Freckles, survived unscathed. And Dan was even more heroic, defending Chip from a rattlesnake!

Colbert's holiday message to Rick Perry....

2011-12-12T17:05:00.001-06:00

Ok, I know someone's going to be offended by this, but I thought it was funny.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

We feel brain damaged because we ARE....

2011-12-12T16:51:00.002-06:00

Ran across this link on Facebook today. It's about another study of fibromyalgia and brain function:

Scans Reveal Brain Abnormalities in Fibromyalgia Patients

The most interesting thing about this study is that the more physically ill the patient was, the worse condition their brain was in. And while many fibromyalgia patients are depressed, their level of depression does NOT correlate to the brain damage found. This may be the first study in which there is proof that depression is SECONDARY to fibromyalgia instead of the other way around.

Rave of the Day for December 12, 2011:

2011-12-12T02:27:00.001-06:00

The logical follow-up to yesterday's rave. From the same Ducky e-mail dated 2002....

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

1. Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.

2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

4. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere -- and let the air out of their tires.

5. Families are like fudge -- mostly sweet with a few nuts.

6. Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

7. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

8. If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.

9. Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

10. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

Why didn't I think of these?

2011-12-11T14:31:00.002-06:00

Got this link from a Facebook friend. I'm about the least crafty person in the world, but even I would try some of these:

25 clever ideas to make life easier

Slowly going about holiday prep, what little I do, anyway. The tree went up two weeks ago, the holiday letter is written but having trouble with the printer, presents for out-of-town nephews are wrapped but not yet mailed, working on a couple of secret projects, and saw holiday lights last night. Dan has the Thursday and Friday before Christmas off work (a miracle!), so we'll have a chance to watch movies and play the new board game, Logo, that I got him for his birthday.

Rave of the Day for December 11, 2011:

2011-12-11T02:24:00.001-06:00

Some general humor I found against the holiday treasures. I'm sure this is a repeat, but it's worth it! Thanks, Ducky!

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.

8. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

9. School lunches stick to the wall.

10. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Saw this (and more) in person tonight....

2011-12-11T01:55:00.001-06:00

Looking for Dr. Right....

2011-12-11T00:24:00.002-06:00

Got this from a Facebook fibromyalgia page. There is some good advice here, particularly for those who are newly diagnosed and don't yet have a treating physician:

Tips For Finding a Doctor

My primary care doc left medical practice in September, and I still haven't lined up a replacement. The docs here tend to be old school, meaning they aren't always up on the latest medical info and not always open to alternative medicine. But I've gotta get off my tuckus and start making some calls because I'm running out of medication.

What does a REAL woman look like?

2011-12-10T03:15:00.000-06:00

WWJD?

2011-12-10T02:38:00.002-06:00

Anybody remember these from "Saturday Night Live" (keep watching; there's two clips)? I do! Thanks to Robert for the link:

TV Funhouse "Peanuts"

Haven't watched many holiday specials yet. Did see the sequel to "Prep and Landing" and bits of "Miracle on 34th Street" and "The Bishop's Wife". I recorded a Hallmark movie I particularly like called "A Dog Named Christmas" and will watch that soon. Also, I got a deluxe edition of "White Christmas" on DVD for my 15th wedding anniversary this week that I will view a little closer to the holiday.

Program alert!

2011-12-10T02:24:00.002-06:00

I was just gonna come on here to post about this new TV show, but FibroTV beat me to it. So I'll just pass along the link for all to enjoy:

New Show "Rollin With Zach" Focuses on the ABILITIES of the Disabled and Overcoming Adversity

For those of us who use wheelchairs (I do, part time), travel is something much desired but also potentially a very stressful venture. I welcome a chance to see what in major cities is handicap-accessible and what cool things there are for the alternatively-mobile to do. You go, Zach!

Rave of the Day for December 10, 2011:

2011-12-10T02:20:00.002-06:00

Ducky strikes again! Office humor I found in the 2002 archives.....

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

**

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?

**

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

**

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Did I miss anything?

**

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???

**

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?

**

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!

**

FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Rave of the Day for December 9, 2011:

2011-12-09T02:18:00.001-06:00

Just think of this as the ode to overeating. Comedy courtesy of the 2002 archives....

By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY

I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say.

Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an egg-nogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.

Happy Holidays!

Rave of the Day for December 8, 2011:

2011-12-08T02:05:00.001-06:00

'tis the season for some funny! Held back some goodies from the archives for the holidays. This one is dated 2002 and likely came from Ducky....

YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH HOLIDAY CHEER WHEN

- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.

- Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.

- You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.

- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

- You strike a match and light your nose.

- You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"

- You hear a duck quacking and it's you.

- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.

- You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

- You tell everyone you have to go home and the party's at your place.

- You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.

- You yawn at the biggest bore in the room and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.

- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

- You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

- You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.

- You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

- You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

- You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.

Have you been subjected to this?

2011-12-08T00:40:00.002-06:00

Got this from my friend Pete. It's about "gaslighting", or manipulating a person into thinking their response to a situation is inappropriate when it is in fact totally normal:

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

I have been treated this way by multiple doctors, both male and female. People in a position of power can be easily tempted to misuse it, and do. Unless the person doubting your sanity has a license in the psychiatric field or you have had a confirmed diagnosis in the past, don't buy into it.

Two Lesbians Raised A Baby And This Is What They Got

2011-12-07T01:30:00.000-06:00

Two Lesbians Raised A Baby And This Is What They Got

The ultimate unplanned pregnancy mashup....

2011-12-07T01:12:00.001-06:00

Saw this on "Funny or Die" and could not resist sharing!

Twilight 4: Knocked Up - watch more funny videos

Neutering is a laughing matter....

2011-12-07T01:03:00.002-06:00

While it's for a serious cause, the plea is hilarious! Definitely not for the easily offended:

Katherine Heigl Hates Balls from Katherine Heigl

How to stay Occupied....

2011-12-07T00:49:00.002-06:00

For those who have been complaining that the Occupy movement is disorganized and the protesters have no idea what they want, here are some suggestions:

The Winter of Our Occupation ...a proposal from Michael Moore

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Friends,

And now it is winter. Wall Street rejoices, hoping that the change of seasons will mean a change in our spirit, our commitment to stop them.

They couldn't be more wrong. Have they not heard of Washington and the troops at Valley Forge? The Great Flint Sit-Down Strike in the winter of 1936-37? The Michigan Wolverines crushing Ohio State in the 1950 Blizzard Bowl? When it comes to winter, it is the time historically when the people persevere and the forces of evil make their retreat!

We are not even 12 weeks old, yet Occupy Wall Street has grown so fast, so big, none of us can keep up with the hundreds of towns who have joined the movement, or the thousands of actions -- some of them just simple ones in neighborhoods, schools and organizations -- that have happened. The national conversation has been irreversibly changed. Now everyone is talking about how the 1% are getting away with all the money while the 99% struggle to make ends meet. People are no longer paralyzed by despair or apathy. Most know that now is the time to reclaim our country from the bankers, the lobbyists -- and their gofers: the members of the United States Congress and the 50 state legislatures.

And they're crazy if they think that a little climate chaos (otherwise known as winter in the 21st century) that they've helped to bring about is going to stop us.

I would like to propose to my Occupying sisters and brothers that there are many ways to keep Occupy Wall Street going through the winter months. There is perhaps no better time to move the movement indoors for a few months -- and watch it grow even bigger! (For those who have the stamina to maintain the outdoor occupations, by all means, keep it up -- and the rest of us will do our best to help you and keep you warm!)

The winter gives us an amazing opportunity to expand our actions against the captains of capitalism who have occupied our homes with their fraudulent mortgage system which has tossed millions of families out onto the curb; a cruel health care system that has told 50 million Americans "if you can't afford a doctor, go F yourself"; a student loan system that sends 22-year-olds into an immediate "debtors' prison" of working lousy jobs for which they didn't go to school but now have to take because they're in hock for tens of thousands of dollars for the next two decades; and a jobs market that keeps 25 million Americans un- or under-employed -- and much of the rest of the workers forced to accept wage cuts, health care reductions and zero job security.

But we in the Occupy Movement reject this version of the "American Dream." Instead, I suggest we shift our focus for this winter to the following actions:
OCCUPY THE WINTER

A proposal to the General Assembly of Occupy Wall Street from Michael Moore

1. Occupy Our Homes. Sorry, banks, a roof over one's head is a human right, and you will no longer occupy our homes through foreclosure and eviction because well, you see, they are our homes, not yours. You may hold the mortgage; you don't hold the right to throw us or our neighbors out into the cold. With almost one in three home mortgages currently in foreclosure, nearing foreclosure or "underwater," the Occupy Movement must form local "Occupy Strike Forces" to create human shields when the banks come to throw people out of their homes. If the foreclosure has already happened, then we must help families move back into their foreclosed homes -- literally (see this clip from my last film to watch how a home re-occupation is accomplished). Beginning today, Take Back the Land, plus many other citizens' organizations nationwide, are kicking off Occupy Our Homes. Numerous actions throughout the day today have already resulted in many families physically taking back their homes. This will continue every day until the banks are forced to stop their fraudulent practices, until homeowners are allowed to change their mortgage so that it reflects the true value of their homes, and until those who can no longer afford a mortgage are allowed to stay in their homes and pay rent. I beseech the news media to cover these actions -- they are happening everywhere. Evictions, though rarely covered (you need a Kardashian in your home as you're being evicted to qualify for news coverage) are not a new story (see this scene I filmed in 1988). Also, please remember the words of Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur of Toledo (in 'Capitalism: A Love Story'): Do not leave your homes if the bank forecloses on you! Let them take you to court and then YOU ask the judge to make them produce a copy of your mortgage. They can't. It was chopped up a hundred different ways, bundled with a hundred other mortgages, and sold off to the Chinese. If they can't produce the mortgage, they can't evict you.

2. Occupy Your College. In nearly every other democracy on the planet, students go to college for free or almost free. Why do those countries do that? Because they know that for their society to advance, they must have an educated population. Without that, productivity, innovation and an informed electorate is stunted and everyone suffers as a result. Here's how we do it in the U.S.A.: make education one of our lowest priorities, graduate students who know little about the world or their own government or the economy, and then force them into crushing debt before they even have their first job. That way has really worked well for us, hasn't it? It's made us the world leader in … in … well, ok, we're like 27th or 34th in everything now (except war). This has to end. Students should spend this winter doing what they are already doing on dozens of campuses -- holding sit-ins, occupying the student loan office, nonviolently disrupting the university regents meetings, and pitching their tents on the administration's lawn. Young people -- we, the '60s generation, promised to create a better world for you. We got halfway there -- now you have to complete the job. Do not stop until these wars are ended, the Pentagon budget is cut in half, and the rich are forced to pay their taxes. And demand that that money go to your education. We'll be there with you on all of this! And when we get this fixed and you graduate, instead of being $40,000 in debt, go see the friggin' world, or tinker around in your garage a la the two Steves, or start a band. Enjoy life, discover, explore, experiment, find your way. Anything but the assistant manager at Taco Bell.

3. Occupy Your Job. Let's spend the winter organizing workplaces into unions. OR, if you already have a union, demand that your leaders get off their ass and get aggressive like our grandparents did. For chrissakes, surely you know we would not have a middle class if it weren't for the strikes of the 1930s-1950s?! In three weeks we will celebrate the 75th anniversary of the workers in my hometown of Flint, Michigan taking over and occupying the General Motors factories for 44 days in the dead of winter. Their actions ignited a labor movement that lifted tens of millions out of poverty and into the middle class. It's time to do it again. (According to the Census Bureau and the New York Times, 100 million Americans either live in or near poverty. Disgraceful. Greed has destroyed the core fabric of our communities. Enough!) Here are two good unions to get your fellow workers to sign up and join: UE and SEIU. The CWA are also good. Here's how to get a quick primer in organizing your place of employment (don't forget to be careful while you do this!). If your company is threatening to close down and move the jobs elsewhere, then it's time to occupy the workplace (again, you can get a lesson in how to successfully occupy your factory from my movie).

4. Occupy Your Bank. This is an easy one. Just leave them. Move your checking and your credit card to a nonprofit credit union. It's safe and the decisions made there aren't based on greed. And if a bank tries to evict your neighbor, Occupy the local branch with 20 other people and call the press. Post it on the internet.

5. Occupy the Insurance Man. It's time to not only stand up for the 50 million without health insurance but to also issue a single, simple demand: The elimination of for-profit, privately-controlled health insurance companies. It is nothing short of barbaric to allow businesses to make a profit off people when they get sick. We don't allow anyone to make a profit when we need the fire department or the police. Until recently we would never allow a company to make a profit by operating in a public school. The same should be true for when you need to see a doctor or stay in the hospital. So I say it's long overdue for us to go and Occupy Humana, United Health, Cigna and even the supposed "nonprofit" Blue Crosses. An action on their lawns, in their lobbies, or at the for-profit hospitals -- this is what is needed.

So -- there are my ideas for the five places we can Occupy this winter. Help the foreclosed-upon to Occupy their homes. Occupy your college campus, especially the student loan office and the regents meetings. Occupy your job by getting everyone to sign a union card -- or by refusing to let the CEO ship your job overseas. Occupy your Chase or Citi or Bank of America branch by closing your account and moving it to a credit union. And Occupy the insurance company offices, the pharmaceutical companies' headquarters and the for-profit hospitals until the White House and Congress pass the true single-payer universal health care bill they failed to pass in 2010.

My friends, the rich are running scared right now. You need no further proof of this than to read this story from last week. The Republicans' top strategist met privately with them and told them that they had better change their tune or they were going to be crushed by the Occupy Wall Street movement. They didn't have to change their greedy actions, he assured them -- just the way they talk and PR the situation. He told them never to use the word "capitalism" -- it has now been made a dirty word by the Occupy movement, he said. Only say "economic freedom" from now on, he cautioned. And don't criticize the movement -- because the majority of Americans either agree with it or are feeling the same way. Just tell the Occupiers and the distressed Americans: "I get it." Seriously.

Yes, in just 12 short weeks we have killed their most sacred word -- Capitalism -- and we have them on the run, on the defensive. They should be. Millions are coming after them and our only goal is to remove them from power and replace them with a fair system that is controlled by the 99%. The 1% have been able to get both political parties to do their bidding. Why should only 1% of the population get to have two parties -- and the rest of us have none? That, too, is going to change. In my next letter, I will suggest what we can do to Occupy the Electoral Process. But first we must start with those who pull the strings of the puppets in the Congress. That's why it's called Occupy Wall Street. Always better to deal with man in charge, don't you think?

Let's Occupy the Winter! An #OWS Winter will certainly lead to a very hopeful American Spring.

Yours,

Michael Moore

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T02:42:00.000-06:00

glitter-graphics.com

Rave of the Day for November 23, 2011:

2011-11-23T02:36:00.001-06:00

Found this hilarious tidbit lingering in the archives. Don't know who originally sent it to me (probably Ducky), but it was dated 2002....

Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, But Aren't:

"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"

"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."

"Talk about a huge breast!"

"It's Cool Whip time!"

"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"

"Are you ready for seconds yet?"

"Are you going to come again next year?"

"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"

"Don't play with your meat."

"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."

"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"

"You still have a little bit on your chin."

"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."

"How long will it take after you stick it in?"

"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."

"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"

"How many are coming?"

"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"Just lay back & take it easy. I'll do the rest."

"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

Inspiration for the Day, November 20, 2011:

2011-11-21T01:31:00.002-06:00

Jewish Memorial Prayer:

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
We remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We remember them.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,
We remember them.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

"Dawn" has broken....

2011-11-20T01:38:00.003-06:00

Movie Review: "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1"

Unless you've been living somewhere far removed from Planet Earth, you probably have heard that the next installment of the "Twilight" series has arrived in theatres. While there are only four books, the last one was so complex that it has been divided into two films, the second of which will be released a year from now. I was fortunate enough to catch "Breaking Dawn, Part 1" on the day of its release.

Caution: for those who have not read the books, some of the following might be considered mild spoilers.

The basic story so far is that 18-year-old Bella Swan, after moving to the tiny town of Forks, Washington, has fallen in love with Edward Cullen, a vampire forever frozen at the age of 17. The rival for her affection and loyalty is Jacob Black, a Native American teen who is a werewolf and a natural enemy of vampires. Bella has decided to sacrifice her mortality to become like Edward, on the condition that she marries him first.

"Breaking Dawn" is an appropriate title because it signifies a new beginning for Bella. She has graduated from high school and is ready for the transition of becoming a wife. The film opens with preparations for a wedding at the fantastic Cullen residence. The Cullens, while not biologically related, are all vampires created by the same individual, and they function as a family. They blend into society because they do not consume human blood, instead hunting wildlife as many humans do. The only ones in on the secret are Bella, the werewolves and other vampires. Thus most of the wedding guests are clueless.

The actual wedding is everything for which a Twi-hard could dream. The setting is gorgeous, Bella wears a stunning gown, and Edward is so happy he nearly has color in his cheeks. It's the fairy tale that some women plan from childhood. Yet this also signifies the end of Bella's childhood. She has grown from a girl with an intoxicating crush to a woman taking a forever vow.

Understandably upset about this arrangement is Jacob. His tribe has a temporary truce with the Cullens on the condition that they not harm a human. Bella becoming a vampire would not only violate the treaty, it would also mean the end of his best friend.

When Bella departs for a honeymoon with an unknown destination, her goodbyes to her parents have a double meaning. Her mother and father of course are wistful about losing their little girl to marriage, not knowing that they may never see her again in human form, or indeed in any form. I always found it ironic that dad Charlie is the town's police chief and never figured out that his son-in-law is a vampire or that his best friend's son is a werewolf.

If the wedding weren't fabulous enough, the honeymoon location is even more breathtaking. We all know what is supposed to happen on one's wedding night, but there is a potential problem: Edward is much stronger than a human, and he fears harming Bella. His bride, on the other hand, has the same jitters as any other virgin bride. Their experience is both amusing and beautiful.

Their wedded bliss, however, quickly takes an unexpected turn. Bella becomes pregnant, something that was not thought possible. And the pregnancy does not take the normal human course, but one fairly terrifying.

Bella is rushed to the Cullen's home in secrecy, and excuses are given to her family to prevent them from seeing her. But Jacob is informed of the situation, and he is torn between wanting to help take care of Bella and wanting to exact revenge on Edward.

One tidbit I'd like to pass along. Don't leave until the very end. Most of the audience in my theatre left as soon as the credits started, and they missed an important final scene.

I think "Breaking Dawn" is the best of the movies so far. The storytelling is more fluid, the photography is consistently visually pleasing, and Kristen Stewart's and Robert Pattinson's acting has improved (Taylor Lautner's could still use a bit of work, though). The werewolf sequences are good but not great in terms of looking realistic. There are other effects that I found impressive, but I decline to go into detail as it might spoil a particular scene. The soundtrack is good as always, and as always, there isn't a physically unattractive major character in the film.

As with most adaptations of books, there are some differences in the screen version of the story. "Breaking Dawn" was written from multiple characters' points of view, and except for one scene featuring Jacob, this was not done in the film. Some changes were necessary for ratings purposes. None that I saw were so major that they compromised the story.

Do you need to have read the book to like this movie? No. Do you need to have seen the previous "Twilight" films? Not necessarily, but you might be a bit confused as to why the vampires and werewolves hate each other so intently. Other than that, newbies would probably enjoy this.

"Breaking Dawn, Part 1" is rated PG-13, which is appropriate in this case. There is sex, but it is within the context of marriage, and there is a bit of tasteful nudity but nothing excessive. This film does not contain a high gore content, but some of the content does have a creepiness factor more implied than shown. Parents should decide on an individual basis whether they think their pre-teen should see this. Emotionally mature kids who have read and were okay with the book would probably be fine.

The "Twilight" saga is drawing toward a strange but satisfying conclusion. I left the theatre thoroughly entertained. The only downside is having to wait an entire year for Part 2.

Rave of the Day for November 19, 2011:

2011-11-19T20:07:00.001-06:00

Funny courtesy of Joan....

Time for a beauty break....

2011-11-17T18:06:00.000-06:00

Video courtesy of Valerie. Have a bloomin' good time watching it:

Life of flowers from VOROBYOFF PRODUCTION on Vimeo.

Rave of the Day for 11/11/11:

2011-11-11T01:26:00.002-06:00

Got this in an e-mail today from Joan. I've read it before, but it seemed especially pertinent today....

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)..

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle..

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later... Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's, more 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute; look at it and really see it; live it and never give it back.

Sad news....

2011-11-10T13:44:00.003-06:00

Dan's grandfather passed away last night in his sleep. He was 94 years old, and it was probably his time to go. He was a sweet man and will be missed.

Am pretty busy at the moment with arrangements and such. Will post more when and if time and energy allow.

Have a blast!

2011-11-04T00:00:00.005-05:00

As the saying goes, let peace begin with me. Because I am confined to my home so much of the time, my peace is a small one. My peace is the young rabbit who lives under the porch. It is the world's laziest squirrel draping himself on the deck railing. It is a maple leaf shower. It is the honking of Canada geese winging it southward. It is watching my husband going about his routine and being grateful I have him in my life.

But if you take my tiny peace and add it to all the other bloggers dedicated to the cause, it totals one very significant globe. This year, all 50 states and over 50 countries are represented in the Blog Blast for Peace. Read more about it here:

Mimi Lenox

I will continue to post inspirational quotes, particularly on the subject of peace, on this blog as energy allows. Namaste.

Quick whine to explain (in part) my lack of posts...

2011-11-03T00:47:00.003-05:00

Have been feeling like doo doo the past three weeks or so. My rheumatologist dropped the dose on another of my prescriptions in half, one that modulates my immune system to lessen the effects of diseases like Sjogren's. I had been on it for eight years. This has translated into longer-lasting and more frequent headaches, more joint stiffness and pain, and more need for those annoying 12 hour sleep marathons. I don't see the doctor again until December, and I don't expect to be able to change her mind to let me go back to the old dose, which was apparently more effective than we thought.

I am fighting feelings of being mightily discouraged. At first, I believed I was simply doing too much, so I cut back and stayed home, but it didn't help. Now I am having trouble even doing my basic routine, in particular my much-needed low-level exercise, because I simply cannot get out of bed some days. My computer time is at an all-time low. I hope to get my act together soon, though, because I have a lot of obligations this month.

Trick or treat!

2011-10-31T01:34:00.001-05:00

Here is my "costume" for 2011:

glitter-graphics.com

Helping the chronically ill feel a little less forgotten....

2011-10-27T01:47:00.002-05:00

A rerun from But You Don't Look Sick, but very worth a second look. There are some good ideas in here:

36 Easy Things That You Can Do to Make the Life of Your Chronically Ill Friend a Bit Better

I could use a housecleaning service once every few months or so. I can keep the kitchen clean, Dan keeps the bathrooms clean, and between the two of us we get the laundry done, but I can't dust or vacuum or mop regularly. Also, it was very helpful when my in-laws took me clothing shopping for my birthday, pushing my wheelchair so I could save my energy for actually trying on the clothes.

A rerun worth repeating....

2011-10-27T01:21:00.002-05:00

I wrote this a year ago for But You Don't Look Sick. As it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought this might be worth a second look:

Breast Diagnostics: Beyond the Annual Mammogram

Haven't had anything new on the site for awhile, partly due to technical difficulties which appear to be resolved. At present, I am reading the newly published fourth edition of "The Sjogren's Handbook" so that I can review it. I also intend to see the fourth "Twilight" movie when it comes out in a few weeks and review that.

Sorry posts have been scarce. Haven't been online much. After Facebook made its major changes, I never bothered to figure out how to resume getting e-mails to let me know about useful article links. I just don't have the energy to fuss with a lot of things like that. I have a few articles lined up to share and will do so when I set aside enough computer time. I also have inspirational quotes to share. I've almost run out of humorous material in my archives, though.

Inspiration for the Day, October 22, 2011:

2011-10-22T02:04:00.000-05:00

"When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses."

- John F. Kennedy

Come on, people....

2011-10-22T01:50:00.001-05:00

Got this from the Peace Bloggers Facebook page:

Have a heart....

2011-10-21T02:06:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Joan for sending me this....

Inspiration for the Day, October 21, 2011

2011-10-21T01:58:00.000-05:00

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like."

- Will Rogers

What's on the tube this fall....

2011-10-12T00:23:00.003-05:00

This was originally written at the end of September for But You Don't Look Sick. As the site has been down for some time and I have not gotten any indication when or if my article will be posted, I'll put it here, even though it is already outdated ("The Playboy Club" was canceled after three episodes).

TV Review: Prime Time Network New Fall Shows, 2011

When looking into this season's fall programming, I counted 27 new scripted (as opposed to "reality") shows. While this year the debuts are spread out more than usual, running all the way into November, the majority aired for the first time between September 13 and September 29. With the aid of a heavily overworked DVR, I managed to view 17 of them. I think I should change my personal motto to, "I watch TV so you don't have to."

Here's the low down on the newbies (note: a few of these might change time slots in future weeks, but most should still be on the same day of the week as their debut):

"Ringer" - CW - Tuesdays 9pm Eastern. The first new show of the season to air stars Sarah Michelle Gellar of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fame as twins Bridget and Siobhan. Bridget is a stripper and recovering addict who is schedule to testify in court against a dangerous man. She bails the day before the trial, meeting up with her sister Siobhan, a socialite with a handsome husband and a seemingly perfect life. But then Siobhan apparently commits suicide by jumping overboard on her yacht (following a truly dreadful CGI scene of cruising the harbor). Bridget assumes Siobhan's identity, uncovering a variety of secrets. Nestor Carbonell from "Lost" appears as an FBI agent whose original mission was to keep Bridget safe. He now must figure out not only why Bridget vanished but what the woman who appears to be Siobhan is hiding. I don't know if it was my cognitive dysfunction that was the problem or if it was the actress or if this was done intentionally, but whenever the twins appeared onscreen together, it didn't sound to me like two women having a conversation, it just sounded like one person reading two sets of lines. The vocal inflection was exactly the same for both sisters, to the point that I got confused as to whether I was watching Siobhan or her twin pretending to be her. The plot line was intriguing in the pilot and the second episode, but I found the third installment considerably less interesting, so I called it quits. Perhaps people who can remember which twin is which will enjoy it more.

"2 Broke Girls" - CBS - Mondays 9:30pm Eastern. This one is truth in advertising. Kat Dennings is Max, a snarky diner waitress who has to work a second job just to afford an apartment. Beth Behrs is Caroline, an heiress who suddenly finds herself sans fortune and who has probably never set foot in a diner, much less waited a table in one. These two money-challeged women become reluctant co-workers and roomies and formulate a plan to someday start a cupcake business. This is by far the funniest new comedy of the season. But be warned it does contain raunchy humor, some of which I was surprised to hear on a network during prime time.

"The Playboy Club" - NBC - Mondays 10pm Eastern. Okay, I'll admit it. I tuned in to this one just to see what all the fuss was about. At least one network affiliate didn't want to air the pilot of this show due to its content. This hour-long drama is about the original nightclub in Chicago during the 1960's. There are no scenes here of women posing to be centerfolds for the magazine. Yes, they are shown wearing bunny outfits, but the function of the gentlemen's club back then was mainly to sell booze and cigarettes. The female employees were not allowed to smoke or drink on the job, and relationships and even dancing with the customers in the club was strongly discouraged. The late night after parties at the mansion were somewhat optional. The feminist movement viewed the Playboy franchise as the ultimate symbol of the objectification of women, and perhaps this is why the idea of dramatizing it was so offensive. In the pilot, a newly hired bunny named Maurine (played by Amber Heard) inadvertently gets in trouble with a mobster and uses one of her high heeled shoes in self-defense. A maybe not so squeaky clean lawyer named Nick (played by Eddie Cibrian) helps her out, which gets him into some hot water too. I have to say this was no more racy than some of the stuff I've seen during this time slot on other networks. I found the story line to be okay but not great.

"New Girl" - Fox - Tuesdays 9pm Eastern. Movie actress Zooey Deschanel transitions to sitcom land as Jess, a nerdy schoolteacher who finds out her boyfriend is unfaithful. Needing a new place to live on short notice, she moves into an apartment with three single men. Jess walks a fine line between being endearing and annoying. She copes with her breakup by viewing "Dirty Dancing" incessantly, and when her new roomies get hooked into watching it with her, it is pretty funny. But she also seems a bit too socially awkward to be a teacher. It would help if the roommate characters were a bit more fleshed out. I was initially on the fence about this one, but after viewing the second episode, I find myself warming up to Jess. My husband, however, was less impressed and stopped watching after the pilot.

"Unforgettable" - CBS - Tuesdays 10pm Eastern. This is an hour-long crime drama featuring a former detective with a tragic past who has a mystery-solving knack due to a condition that is both a blessing and a curse, kind of like "Monk" only without the humor. Poppy Montgomery is Carrie Wells, a woman who can remember every single moment of her life. This is a real condition called hyperthymesia that perhaps 10 people in the world have (one of them is actress Marilu Henner). Carrie can look back and see details that others would miss because they can't retain that much information. This is good for crime-solving but rather problematic when it comes to the accumulation of haunting memories. One of those memories is the death of her sister, which was never solved because, ironically, it is the only event about which Carrie has a memory lapse. The show overall I unfortunately found a bit forgettable.

"Free Agents" - NBC - Wednesdays 8:30pm Eastern. Another new half-hour sitcom, this one taken from a British show of the same name. Alex is a divorced man played by Hank Azaria. Helen is a widowed woman played by Kathryn Hahn. They fall into bed together, which might not have been the smartest move because they are co-workers. Now they have to awkwardly switch gears from personal to professional. This does produce some amusing results, and the supporting cast is fairly good. But there is a lot of competition this season from comedies that are even better, so I don't know how well this one will do.

"Revenge" - ABC - Wednesdays 10pm Eastern. The premise of this show is pretty much summed up by the title. Emily VanCamp of "Brothers and Sisters" and "Everwood" portrays the main character, who is also named Emily. This sweet-looking young woman rents a gorgeous home in the Hamptons with gorgeous views and gorgeous neighbors. But there is a lot of resentment simmering behind those blonde locks and charming smile. When Emily was a child, her puppy was stolen, she was taken away and something awful was done to her dad in the very house she is now renting by people who still live in the area. But no one seems to remember her except her now-elderly dog even though only a decade or so has passed. This plot point annoyed me, but it is convenient as it allows Emily to worm her way into the neighborhood and begin exacting payback on all the past wrongs done to her. Madeleine Stowe stars as The Hamptons' chief evil diva. I might have enjoyed this as a feature-length film or perhaps a mini-series, but I'm not sure I want to watch one woman ruin people's lives every single week.

"Charlie's Angels" - ABC - Thursdays 8pm Eastern. Just when you thought the 1970's crime-fighting saga had been retired at last, along comes a television reboot. It's not the same cast from back in the day or even the one from the fairly recent films, but new "angels" in a new locale, Miami. About the only common thread here is that three beautiful women work for an unseen boss named Charlie. There is still a Bosley character, but he has transitioned from a handler to a hot tech guy played by Ramon Rodriguez. The ladies all have shady pasts that make them more qualified to take down bad guys. Rachael Taylor is Abby, Annie Ilonzeh is Kate, and Minka Kelly is Eve. There's plenty of stealth, gun play and scenery. I was not completely wowed by the pilot, although I suppose you could do worse than a formula that has already worked twice.

"Person of Interest" - CBS - Thursdays 9pm Eastern. If you like your crime drama served up with a twist of science fiction, this might be the prime time cocktail for you. The executive producers are J. J. Abrams of "Lost" and Jonathan Nolan of "The Dark Knight". Michael Emerson, who was so deliciously evil as Ben on "Lost", here is a mysterious rich man called Finch who is supposed to be dead. In devising security technology after 9/11, he discovered he was actually able to predict future crimes involving ordinary citizens. The problem is, he only gets names of individuals and doesn't know whether they will be the victim or the perpetrator. He enlists the aid of another mystery man, who is also supposed to be deceased: an ex-CIA agent called Reese played by Jim Caviezel (who portrayed Jesus in the film "The Passion of the Christ"). This man knows how to get results, whether it's gaining trust with his deceptively soothing voice, tracking a subject's every move or blasting his way through a sticky situation. Taraji P. Henson is Carter, a homicide detective on Reese's trail. The concept that surveillance has gotten so advanced that the entire populace is in the spotlight 24/7 is chilling but only just barely fiction. It gives the whole show a vaguely sinister air that is rather engrossing. This is my favorite new hour-long drama so far.

"Prime Suspect" - NBC - Thursdays 10pm Eastern. Another hour-long crime drama from a straight-up homicide department point of view. Jane Timoney (Maria Bello) is a newbie to the department and the only woman. She is given a lot of grief by her co-woprkers because of her gender and because they believe she got the job through nepotism. This is an Americanized version of a very popular British mini-series. Jane proves herself because she is more thorough and more motivated than her colleagues to get the case solved. I would have been more motivated to continue watching this show if there weren't already a surplus of police procedurals on the air. The only thing distinctive about this one was the fedora worn by Maria Bello, which isn't saying much.

"Whitney" - NBC - Thursdays 9:30pm Eastern. This comes from the creative mind of stand-up comedienne Whitney Cummings, who has the title role. She is happily single, sharing an apartment with her boyfriend, Alex, played by Chris D'Elia. Her friends are a jaded divorcee and a head-over-heels couple who can't be away from one another for more than five minutes. Whitney wonders whether spending three years with her boyfriend necessitates marriage. She also muses about the little things, like whether it is tacky to wear a hoodie over your dress to someone else's wedding so you don't get cold. I'm not usually big on relationship sitcoms because they tend to use too many stereotypes and lack creativity, but this really made me laugh. I also like the character of Alex, who is fairly good-natured about his girlfriend's quirky antics. Whitney and Alex are a couple that, had they existed in real life, I would befriend, for the giggles if for nothing else.

"A Gifted Man" - CBS - Fridays 8pm Eastern. This is a medical drama with a twist. Patrick Wilson portrays Michael, gifted neurosurgeon to the rich and famous. He is over-scheduled, removed from the real world and is seemingly devoid of humanity. But we find out he was not always this way when he runs into Anna (Jennifer Ehle), his old flame who devoted herself to a free clinic. They have a pleasant reminiscence, and then Michael returns to business as usual. However, when he attempts to contact Anna at the clinic, we discover that she has been deceased for a few weeks, meaning that Michael couldn't possibly have had a conversation with her the night before. Or could he? Julie Benz from "Dexter" and "No Ordinary Family" is Michael's sister, who immediately suspects that her brother is receiving contact with a ghost and is pretty excited about this. Anna appears to Michael multiple times after this to convince him to help out those who are less fortunate but are no less deserving of care. Jonathan Demme directed the pilot. This is another show that I might have watched as a film or mini-series, but not for a whole season.

"Pan Am" - ABC - Sundays 10pm Eastern. Like "The Playboy Club" and "Mad Men", this is set in the 1960's. That's pretty much where the similarity ends, though. "Pan Am" chronicles a famous airline at a time when flying was actually glamorous and pleasant. There were no cumbersome security screenings or outrageous fees, the seats were large enough to be comfortable, you actually got meals, and the crew was required to be courteous. The airports and the airplanes seemed shiny and new, the passengers dressed up, and the stewardesses smiled. Film actress Christina Ricci stars as Maggie, purser on the maiden flight of a new jet. Mike Vogel is Dean, the handsome pilot whose potential fiancee bails on him. Michael Mosley is the co-pilot. Keliie Garner plays Kate, a stewardess doing double duty for the government. Her photogenic sister, portrayed by Margot Robbie, joins Pan Am on impulse rather than get married. And Karine Vanasse is Colette, a Frenchwoman who strives for professionalism in the midst of heartbreak. My cognitive dysfunction makes it a challenge for me to tell people apart who are dressed the same and have the same hairstyles, so I had a bit of trouble keeping the characters straight at first, but I think most people won't have that problem. One real selling point for me is that the executive producer of this show actually worked at the airline beginning in 1968, and some of the story lines are straight from real life. The first episode stuck with me long after I had viewed it, and I want to see more.

"Terra Nova" - Fox - Mondays 8pm Eastern. This long-delayed, much hyped sci-fi drama had a two-hour pilot. Reading the description of the plot - people traveling back in time to the age of the dinosaurs - had me rolling my eyes. But the effects were rumored to be spectacular, and it had Steven Spielberg's name associated with it, so I gave it a shot. The first episode initially is set in the 22nd century, when the earth's natural resources are pretty much used up. Oxygen is so scarce due to the smog that breathing masks are commonplace, and only two children are permitted per couple. Jim Shannon (Jason O'Mara) is a cop who has broken the law by having a third kid with his wife. He is arrested, but his wife arranges not only a breakout but an escape for the whole family. It turns out that a way to transport people back in time has been discovered. The downside is that it's a one-way trip, and it takes you back 85 million years. There is an amusing scene where a voice over a public address system tells the new pilgrims that their destination may strain their eyes at first because they will be able to see the sun clearly. The Shannon family is successfully transported to a place with abundant food, fresh air - and dinosaurs. They're also limited to living in a fenced compound which has armed guards. The fence is not just to keep the carnivorous reptiles out - there are human threats too. Except for one scene where the actors were very obviously in front of a green screen, the CGI is indeed as good as advertised. No clay-mation Godzillas here. It is pretty entertaining watching the dinosaur vs. human portions, but the dialogue is clunky in places, and I wonder how fast the novelty will wear off. I will watch at least one more episode before deciding whether I want to commit to an entire season.

"Hart of Dixie" - CW - Mondays 9pm Eastern. Rachel Bilson is Zoe Hart, a self-serving New York doctor who finds herself practicing medicine in a quirky small town in another part of the country somewhat against her will. Along the way she meets a potential love interest and clashes with the locals. There are parts that are amusing, such as when she stumbles upon a pet alligator named Burt Reynolds, and parts that are sweet, such as when she helps a teen bond with her newborn. This may well turn out to be a hit amongst the younger CW viewers. But will I be watching subsequent episodes? No, because I've seen this story already, on DVD, back when it was known as "Northern Exposure".

"Suburgatory" - ABC - Wednesdays 8:30pm Eastern. Tessa (Jane Levy) is a typical New York teenager, or at least she was until her single father (Jeremy Sisto) panics that his daughter might be growing up too fast and abruptly hightails it for a suburb with good schools, smiling neighbors and cloned homes with perfect lawns. Now it's Tessa's turn to panic as she deals with mean girls and a plastic lifestyle highlighted by shopping at the mall. From the promos for this show, I wasn't expecting much, but "Suburgatory", with its "Easy A" style voiceover, is hilarious. Cheryl Hines as a scarily perky mom adds to the fun. I am looking forward to seeing this one again.

"How to Be a Gentleman" - CBS - Thursdays 8:30pm Eastern. This sitcom is an "Odd Couple" scenario in which Andrew, a etiquette columnist played by David Hornsby, turns to a personal trainer named Bert (Kevin Dillon from "Entourage") to teach him how to relate to the immature macho crowd. Dave Foley plays Andrew's boss at a magazine that now targets a younger demographic. The premise did not work for me, and I found neither Andrew nor Bert to be particularly amusing. The boss and the brother-in-law helped a bit, but the sister was grating, and I am not inclined to watch again.

If you want to catch any of these shows' debut episodes, many are available for download via iTunes, Hulu or the networks' own websites. Still to come are the Tim Allen vehicle "Last Man Standing" on ABC October 11, the comedy "Man Up!" on ABC October 18, "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" on Fox November 23, and not one but two fairy tale-themed shows. Happy viewing!

Looking great doesn't always feel great....

2011-10-08T02:04:00.002-05:00

Got this from today's CFIDS newsletter. I like that the author mentioned the caregivers too:

The Challenges of Living with Invisible Pain or Illness

As a rule, I've pretty much decided not to give a rat's patootie about what others think of me. I don't have the energy to do makeup, style my hair or dress in appealing but painfully constrictive attire, so I no longer do these things and don't apologize for it. But it makes a great deal of difference, unfortunately, what the medical community and those who dole out disability benefits think. My long-term disability insurance company violated their contract by declaring I did not have a physical illness and discontinued payment. And then one idiot doctor who had never seen me before disregarded the seven years worth of medical evidence in front of him and said my conditions were not disabling, thus undoing any chance I had at getting my benefits restored. So I cannot say with confidence that appearance doesn't matter.

Bio-marker research continues....

2011-10-08T01:39:00.002-05:00

Details on another research grant courtesy of today's CFIDS newsletter. This may mean the difference between this condition remaining classified as a syndrome or becoming designated as a verifiable disease:

Kathleen Light's Group Secures Million-Dollar NIH Award

I believe bio-marker research has the potential to revolutionize our understanding of illness and the ability to come up with more effective treatments, perhaps even cures. After all, you can't fix something if you don't know why it's broken.

New neuroimaging study....

2011-10-08T01:22:00.002-05:00

Got this from the latest issue of the CFIDS newsletter. If you are interested in participating in the study, there is a link in the article:

Natelson and Shungu Take On the CFS Brain

I apologize for being conspicuously absent from this blog. I was away from the computer quite a bit while watching all those new fall TV shows so I could review them (the review has been submitted to But You Don't Look Sick, and I am waiting for it to be posted there so I can post it here). For awhile, I was being inundated with links via Facebook from all the groups I belong to, as many as 100 e-mails per day, and I got kinda buried. And then Facebook changed its format, and now I get ZERO alerts from them so that I have no idea if any useful articles are out there unless I go to each and every page and use up all my available computer time trying to find the articles. But I kept all the old alerts that I received prior to the format change and will sort through them when I can, posting anything worthwhile even if it's a bit outdated. Seems like there's no such thing as a happy medium.

Inspiration for the Day, October 4, 2011:

2011-10-04T02:15:00.002-05:00

"Lord, hear my prayer. Give me compassion to help when help is needed, kindness to stand back when help is not wanted, and the wisdom to know the difference. Give me openness to share something of my journey if helpful, humility to keep quiet if I'm only boasting, and the wisdom to know the difference. Give me gentleness to ask concerned questions, reticence to probe intrudingly, and the wisdom to know the difference. Give me courage to be honest in my response if that is called for, sensitivity to refrain from honesty if that would be more compassionate, and the wisdom to know the difference. Lord, you are the source for forgiveness, grace and hope. Hear my prayer. Amen."

- Isabel de Gruchy, South Africa

Rave of the Day for October 4, 2011:

2011-10-04T01:56:00.002-05:00

This funny is a very old oldie but a goody. Received it this time around in an e-mail from Pete:

Here is where it all started:

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

Sculpture Safari, a "12 word" poem....

2011-09-18T01:23:00.002-05:00

Here's a fun exercise from my college days: have someone give you 12 random words. Write a poem of 12 lines, with each line containing one of your assigned words, in the order you were given them. For an added challenge, spend no more than one minute writing each line. So it's 12 words into 12 lines in 12 minutes. Give it a try. It's both easier and more difficult than it sounds.

My friend, Pete, for nostalgia's sake gave me the following 12 words last night: cold, dog, thistle, silver, ceiling, cup, towel, taste, just, pillow, trash, stare. This is my result:

Sculpture Safari

The cold crept in like an afterthought,
Leaving us forlorn for dog days.
The wind stung as would a thistle under bare feet.
But the silver clouds could not eclipse the enticement of other metallic shapes,
Framing a thoughtful ceiling instead.
Although I had to cup my hands for warmth,
No towel was tossed.
I could taste the creative spark
Just by proximity.
When my pillow called me home,
My energy crumpled like so much trash,
But not before one last satisfying stare.

- 9/17/11

Haiku of the Day, September 16, 2011:

2011-09-16T23:52:00.002-05:00

Posted on Facebook yesterday about the poetry conference I attended. My friend Mike commented that the status update should have been a haiku. So my reply was the following....

Wise workshop leader -
Japanese drums beaten in
five-seven-five time.

Ha-ha-haiku!

2011-09-16T01:30:00.003-05:00

Went to another free poetry workshop at church. Tonight's featured South Dakota's poet laureate. Whereas the one I went to in June emphasized how poetry makes you feel and showcased poets of whom I had never heard, this one was about the mechanics of poetry and used mostly familiar examples. My personal preference is to balance the emotion with the structure, but there was a writing exercise tonight that gave me a much-needed jump start.

We were instructed to compose some haiku. I hadn't done any in 25 years, back when I was in college sitting under one of those ginormous maple trees dotting the campus. We could either do traditional Japanese style, which is three lines with a syllable count of 5-7-5 usually about nature, or non-traditional variable syllable count on any subject. I went with traditional structure and varied the subject matter.

I struggled at first, but managed to come up with two during the workshop and two more after I got home. If I am smart, I will keep doing these on a regular basis to stay motivated. But I do realize how easily I get distracted, so I make no promises. At any rate, before they get buried in my ever-growing pile of unfinished projects, here are the ones I wrote tonight:

Naked branches dance
in a mournful cloudy sky -
a squirrel chuckles.

Spinning ferris wheel
alights the top of the world -
the earth is dizzy.

Hugging, comforting,
Mama bear against the wind -
My purple hoodie.

Slanted by the gale
and young limbs made old too soon -
shuffling to my car.

Breathing fire is not good unless you're a dragon....

2011-09-13T00:28:00.002-05:00

Got this link from one of those trusty fibromyalgia Facebook pages. I have both, but did not know they might be connected.

GERD and Fibromyalgia

Interesting how many articles are popping up lately linking fibromyalgia to other ailments. I see this as both positive and negative. Positive in that perhaps doctors might take fibromyalgia as a whole more seriously, and negative in that it might inspire the lazy ones to blame EVERY complaint on fibromyalgia without looking further to rule out something else.

Bonus Inspiration for the Day, September 13, 2011:

2011-09-13T00:17:00.001-05:00

"I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there."

- Mother Teresa

Inspiration for the Day, September 13, 2011:

2011-09-13T00:07:00.002-05:00

Resurrection

Long, long, long ago;
Way before this winter's snow
First fell upon these weathered fields;
I used to sit and watch and feel
And dream of how the spring would be,
When through the winter's stormy sea
She'd raise her green and growing head,
Her warmth would resurrect the dead.

Long before this winter's snow
I dreamt of this day's sunny glow
And thought somehow my pain would pass
With winter's pain, and peace like grass
Would simply grow. (But) The pain's not gone.
It's still as cold and hard and long
As lonely pain has ever been,
It cuts so deep and fear within.

Long before this winter's snow
I ran from pain, looked high and low
For some fast way to get around
Its hurt and cold. I'd have found,
If I had looked at what was there,
That things don't follow fast or fair.
That life goes on, and times do change,
And grass does grow despite life's pains.

Long before this winter's snow
I thought that this day's sunny glow,
The smiling children and growing things
And flowers bright were brought by spring.
Now, I know the sun does shine,
That children smile, and from the dark, cold, grime
A flower comes. It groans, yet sings,
And through its pain, its peace begins.

- Mary Ann Bernard

Bonus Inspiration for the Day, September 12, 2011:

2011-09-12T01:39:00.002-05:00

"The message we hear from all sources of truth is clear: We are all one. That is a message the human race has largely ignored. Forgetting this truth is the only cause of hatred and war, and the way to remember is simple: Love, [in] this and every moment. If we could love even those who have attacked us, and seek to understand why they have done so, what then would be our response? Yet if we meet negativity with negativity, rage with rage, attack with attack, what will be the outcome? These are the questions that are placed before the human race today. They are questions that we have failed to answer for thousands of years. Failure to answer them now could eliminate the need to answer them at all. If we want the beauty of the world that we have co-created to be experienced by our children and our children's children, we will have to become use that to happen. We must choose to be a cause in the matter."

~Words of the Dalai Lama 9/11/01

Inspiration for the Day, September 12, 2011:

2011-09-12T01:27:00.002-05:00

I attended a concert for peace today featuring a choir of 50, poetry and other readings, piano, organ and an oboe solo. It was their fourth annual. It was beautiful and inspiring. I kept the program, and over the next few days, I'll share some of the contents.

Here we go:

In the Dawn

In the dawn
You walk toward me
When I am confused
You shower me in Love

In the darkness
You bestow light
When I am hesitant
You show me your Words

In my days
You grant me a mission
When I am weak
You lend me your Power

In sickness
You are by my side
When I am suffering
You offer me the Cure

In conflicts
You increase my strength
When I am in pain
You grace me with Peace

In all my life
You leave your footprints
When I am empty
You give me Your All

- Dongzia Shi

Pause and reflect....

2011-09-11T00:32:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of the "Peace Bloggers" Facebook page and Mimi Lenox:

Rave of the Day for September 11, 2011:

2011-09-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

This came from Joan in 2006, but it is obviously still relevant....

The 'LITTLE' things.

As you might know, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an automobile accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone, all the little things that annoy me, I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment...

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed,
you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated; God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember that you are always in God's care.