Monday, January 26, 2004
The "lost" post from January 22, 2004...
Stuck in the middle...
...decided to take all my nice clothes that don't fit anymore to a consignment shop. I had four shops on my list but only had time to visit two today.
The first was specifically for plus sized clothing (I've got stuff ranging from size 10-20, believe it or not). They advertised themselves as upscale, which I thought meant they would at least be interested in my suits. I came to find out that it meant DESIGNER stuff, and I've never bought a designer piece of clothing in my life. Also, some of my clothes were "too young" for their customers....I don't know if that meant younger than me or just that my clothes were unprofessional (they had animal prints on them). On to the next store.
The next place had lots of cute clothes, but I think I was the only one in there over 25. They didn't take plus sizes, and most of my stuff was too dressy and not right for their younger customer base. They did take my black suede miniskirt with the flower cutouts in size 14, so that's something.
So I'm too poor to donate to an upscale store and too old to donate to a trendy store. I'm also too thin for the plus sizes and too fat for the regular sizes. I've never thought of myself as middle class or middle aged, but apparently I am seen that way. I'm going to try the other two stores on Friday...I hope they are more receptive.
I had no idea I was that boring....hmph. Fine. I'll go put on my crushed velour top and fake fur leopard print skirt and go pout for awhile.
Pain level: 5
Fatigue level: 9
Rave of the Day: I've seen this in various forms several times, but some of it is just too funny to ignore. This version comes from bejo....
Do you know--
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
...decided to take all my nice clothes that don't fit anymore to a consignment shop. I had four shops on my list but only had time to visit two today.
The first was specifically for plus sized clothing (I've got stuff ranging from size 10-20, believe it or not). They advertised themselves as upscale, which I thought meant they would at least be interested in my suits. I came to find out that it meant DESIGNER stuff, and I've never bought a designer piece of clothing in my life. Also, some of my clothes were "too young" for their customers....I don't know if that meant younger than me or just that my clothes were unprofessional (they had animal prints on them). On to the next store.
The next place had lots of cute clothes, but I think I was the only one in there over 25. They didn't take plus sizes, and most of my stuff was too dressy and not right for their younger customer base. They did take my black suede miniskirt with the flower cutouts in size 14, so that's something.
So I'm too poor to donate to an upscale store and too old to donate to a trendy store. I'm also too thin for the plus sizes and too fat for the regular sizes. I've never thought of myself as middle class or middle aged, but apparently I am seen that way. I'm going to try the other two stores on Friday...I hope they are more receptive.
I had no idea I was that boring....hmph. Fine. I'll go put on my crushed velour top and fake fur leopard print skirt and go pout for awhile.
Pain level: 5
Fatigue level: 9
Rave of the Day: I've seen this in various forms several times, but some of it is just too funny to ignore. This version comes from bejo....
Do you know--
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
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