Saturday, February 28, 2004

Slightly less dark.... 

Happy to report that today feels less like the world caving in on me. I can see why depression is such a problem for those with chronic illness....the prospect of pain and fatigue every day for the rest of one's life is certainly a daunting one. I wouldn't exactly call myself chipper today, but I am at least making an effort to cope.

Decided I needed to get out of the house today to do something fun, even if I didn't feel up to it. Talked Dan into going to the museum of natural history with me to see an exhibit on Machu Picchu. Dan's uncle traveled there once, and had shown us slides of the trip, so there was some interest in seeing the artifacts that had been found there on an expedition 95 years ago. I had actually gotten seven hours of good sleep (plus two more hours of lousy sleep), so I had a bit of energy. Unfortunately, that energy evaporated just waiting to get in the building, but I made up my mind to go ahead with it anyway. My feet were screaming in protest a mere fifteen minutes into the exhibit, but I ignored them the best I could. There were some cool things in there....in addition to the artifacts from the site, there was the camera and the journal for the 1911 expedition, a virtual tour of the ruins that you could control at will, a short film about how rainwater was transported and filtered for use, and highlights of what each area was used for. The crowd was absolutely huge, and it took almost TWO HOURS to get through the exhibit. I was limping at the end but glad I'd earned the pain for once.

I've lost nearly 25 pounds; I have no idea how. I had to dig out a pair of my old size 12 jeans today because the size 14s I bought in January are too big now. I suspect the weight loss will stop very soon because I'm only doing two days a week of exercise, and while my diet is restrictive, it still contains potatoes, rice and corn, which aren't exactly slimming. But if I were to lose 15 more pounds, I wouldn't mind.

Had an amusing dream a few nights ago. In it, I was in a small Kansas town where they were doing "Gone with the Wind" as a stage play. They were taking huge liberties with the story, though....they showed Scarlett O'Hara traveling with the circus as a child and changed her heritage to half black instead of half Irish. And they didn't have the proper period costumes....they just re-used stuff from a former production that was set in the 1950s. Also, for some reason, they had men acting as women and women acting as men. I have no idea what any of that means.

Still have the twitchies and muscle cramps, hence the lousy two hours of sleep this morning. Most are in the usual areas (calves and sides of feet), but some are in the arms, back and hands, which is not typical for me at all. And the ones in the soles of the feet are definitely new since I started the gastroparesis medication. I'm not sure those are going to go away. Sigh.

Oh, and we found out last night that Dan's neice is named Elaina Christine, which is a little bit different than the name originally picked out. Big baby, too (8 pounds, 20 inches long), considering her momma is quite tiny. Mom and baby are doing well.

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