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Sunday, March 14, 2004

This will offend some people.... 

There. All readers have been warned. This post marks a departure for me.

I've left hints here and there about my true feelings on certain controversial issues. Haven't been able to help it because it's part of who I am. On the flat-out taboo subjects, though, I've been for the most part silent. I'm the sort who will fall mute in the presence of a more conservative viewpoint held by someone else. Call it wimpy if you want....I call it self-preservation, especially if the person I want to get along with happens to be related to me. I'd rather keep my mouth shut than be disowned.

But a few things have happened recently that have made me reconsider the wisdom of my silence. One incident I still decline to discuss publicly because it has the real possibility of causing a rift that might never heal. The other, however, is public knowledge, so I think it is fair game.

I've been thinking about this for a long time and have finally come to the conclusion that I would cause more harm pretending this issue didn't exist than risk the offense of those who read my blog. Just remember as you see this that I didn't start the fire. The US government did.

Don't get me wrong. I have always had views about politics and religion. But I've also always had a paranoid fear of someone hating me for expressing those views. So I've reserved most of my diatribes for those I felt were like-minded or at least not argumentative. Right now I feel like I'm jumping off a diving board blindfolded, not knowing if there is any water in the pool.

I am disturbed by the Bush administration's endorsement of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. I believe very strongly that not only is it wrong but also dangerous to amend our constitution to deny anyone their civil rights. And bringing religion into it is even more wrong. In case everyone has forgotten, our founding fathers for the most part were NOT Christian, they were deist. The US is supposed to be about freedom OF religion, not the establishment of it, yet some of our elected officials are trying to tell us what constitutes a holy union. I did not elect anyone to tell me who my creator wants me to marry. We are not a Christian nation. If I wanted to live in one, I'd move somewhere else.

Proponents of this amendment say that same-sex unions will undermine the institution of marriage. How exactly is this a threat to heterosexuals? Are there really that many straight people afraid that they or their children are going to be kidnapped and brainwashed into "going gay" like it was some religious cult? Homosexuality is not a disease or a cult. There is nothing to be afraid of. My femininity is not threatened in any way by a woman who is attracted to other women. My marriage will not suffer whatsoever if a gay couple is also allowed to marry. If one is in a committed love relationship with another consenting adult and wishes to take on the responsibility that comes with marriage, why deny it just because the two adults happen to be the same gender? Happily married couples live longer, provide a more stable home life for their children and even help stabilize the economy by making joint purchases of those big ticket items such as houses. I'm just not seeing where same-sex marriage makes a mockery of matrimony.

I keep getting told that God meant for marriage to be between one man and one woman, that anything else is unholy. I am not convinced of this. The Bible is full of stories of men who had many wives. Were they unholy? Traditionally, this one man, one woman arrangement was one of practicality for the means of creating children. It had little to do with love. Was that sinful? Now we marry for love, ideally anyway. Love can occur just as easily with two people of the same gender as two people of the opposite gender. Where is the blasphemy here? Am I more holy just because I married a man? Absolutely not.

And I keep hearing these vague references to the "gay lifestyle". What is that supposed to mean? I've never been told that my heterosexual lifestyle is a threat to anyone. No one knows what I do or don't do in the privacy of my own home except my husband. The "gay lifestyle" reference makes about as much sense as saying that me being childless is a slap in the face to everyone who has kids. And this business about all homosexuals flaunting their "alternative" lifestyle is a myth. Face it...some people do march in parades, but most do not. Most have lives that don't sound that glamorous....they work for a living, pay their taxes, some go to church, some have kids. Most you would never know if they were gay or straight. They just want to be happy, find love, pay their bills. That makes them human, not alternative. I want to hold hands in public with the person I love. I would expect no less of a same sex couple.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. It is not my place to start tossing boulders into other people's lives. It is not the business of my government, either. We are ALL precious in our creator's sight. It is up to our creator, not us, to judge morality. Don't legislate love.

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