Monday, June 28, 2004
Rave of the Day for June 28:
A variation on the standard redneck joke. Thanks to Ducky for thinking of me when she saw this, heh heh....
You know your church is a redneck church if....
# 1, The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
# 2, People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the 2 fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
# 3, When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
# 4, Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
# 5, A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel drive Ford truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of".
# 6, The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
# 7, Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
#8, In a congregation of 500 members, there are only 7 last names in the church directory.
# 9, There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
#10, Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
#11, High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
#12, People think the "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
#13, The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
#14, The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with) the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.
#15, The collection plates are hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You know your church is a redneck church if....
# 1, The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
# 2, People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the 2 fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
# 3, When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
# 4, Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
# 5, A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel drive Ford truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of".
# 6, The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
# 7, Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
#8, In a congregation of 500 members, there are only 7 last names in the church directory.
# 9, There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
#10, Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
#11, High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
#12, People think the "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
#13, The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
#14, The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with) the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.
#15, The collection plates are hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
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