Monday, June 28, 2004

Rave of the Day for June 28: 

A variation on the standard redneck joke. Thanks to Ducky for thinking of me when she saw this, heh heh....

You know your church is a redneck church if....

# 1,   The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

# 2,   People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the 2 fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

# 3,    When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the  offering," five guys and two women stand up.

# 4,    Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church  holiday.

# 5,     A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel drive  Ford truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of".

# 6,  The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

# 7,   Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.

#8,    In a congregation of 500 members, there are only 7 last names in the church directory.

# 9,  There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

#10, Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

#11, High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

#12, People think the "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

#13, The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.

#14, The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with)  the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.

#15, The collection plates are hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

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