Monday, July 05, 2004
Rave of the Day for July 5:
Haven't seen this one before, but it's hilarious! Thanks, Ducky!
APPLICATION FOR CAT OWNERSHIP
Your Name:
Name of Spouse:
Address of home I will be assuming:
Square footage of home:
Total Sq. Ft. of human sleeping quarters
(referred hereinafter as "Servant's Quarters")
(Not to exceed 5% of home sq. footage):
My sleeping quarters will be (circle one):
- On a cat bed.
- On your bed. (referred hereinafter as 'my' bed)
- On the floor.
- On the furniture.
- On the stairs.
- In the garage.
- Anywhere I want.
No. of human children in my home:
No. of children who might pull my tail:
Previous cat experience (circle all that apply):
- I have recently owned one or more cats.
- I was recently owned by one or more cats.
- Fed a cat.
- Been slept on by a cat.
- Cleaned a litter box.
- Bathed a cat.
- Been scratched by a cat.
- Picked cat fur off my clothes.
- Picked cat fur out of my eyes.
- Accidentally ran over a cat.
- Allergic to cats.
- Chased cats out of yard.
- Cleaned up cat puke.
- Stepped in a hairball.
Any Canines in residence? (circle one):
- No
- No
Have you ever had a cat run away from this address in the last three years? If yes, please explain yourself:
Your Expected salary (circle one):
- $200 weekly
- $100 weekly
- Nothing, just the satisfaction of knowing you took me in.
- You pay me for living with you.
Location of litter box (circle one):
Laundry Room
Living Room
Garage
Bathroom
Dining Room
Pantry
Nook
Kitchen
None (outside)
Cat will have outside privileges? (circle one):
- Yes
- Yes
Cat will be de-clawed? (circle one):
- No
- No
Servant names (List all dwellers of home, including yours):
Breakfast will be served not later than (circle one):
6am
6am
6am
6am
6am
6am
Dinner will be served (circle one -- careful, there is only one right answer):
- 5pm
- 6pm
- 7pm
- Upon demand.
- Eat what's left over from breakfast.
Menu (circle all that apply):
- Friskies
- Whiskas
- 9-Lives
- Meat Loaf
- BBQ Chicken
- Filet Mignon
- Tournados with Bearnaise
- Roti De Porc Poele
- Filet of Fish Poached in Wine Sauce
- Shoulder of Lamb
- Veal Prince Orloff
- Sauteed Scallops
- Salmon Pate
Desserts (circle all that apply):
- Pounce
- Twinkies
- Donuts
- Ice Cream
- Spongecake
- Strawberries in Bavarian Cream
- Caramel Almond Custard
- Chocolate Mousse
- Vanilla Sauce Souffle
- Upside Down Apple Tart
- Crepes with Orange Butter
- Three Butter Cream cake
List three references that I might contact (No dogs, please):
APPLICATION FOR CAT OWNERSHIP
Your Name:
Name of Spouse:
Address of home I will be assuming:
Square footage of home:
Total Sq. Ft. of human sleeping quarters
(referred hereinafter as "Servant's Quarters")
(Not to exceed 5% of home sq. footage):
My sleeping quarters will be (circle one):
- On a cat bed.
- On your bed. (referred hereinafter as 'my' bed)
- On the floor.
- On the furniture.
- On the stairs.
- In the garage.
- Anywhere I want.
No. of human children in my home:
No. of children who might pull my tail:
Previous cat experience (circle all that apply):
- I have recently owned one or more cats.
- I was recently owned by one or more cats.
- Fed a cat.
- Been slept on by a cat.
- Cleaned a litter box.
- Bathed a cat.
- Been scratched by a cat.
- Picked cat fur off my clothes.
- Picked cat fur out of my eyes.
- Accidentally ran over a cat.
- Allergic to cats.
- Chased cats out of yard.
- Cleaned up cat puke.
- Stepped in a hairball.
Any Canines in residence? (circle one):
- No
- No
Have you ever had a cat run away from this address in the last three years? If yes, please explain yourself:
Your Expected salary (circle one):
- $200 weekly
- $100 weekly
- Nothing, just the satisfaction of knowing you took me in.
- You pay me for living with you.
Location of litter box (circle one):
Laundry Room
Living Room
Garage
Bathroom
Dining Room
Pantry
Nook
Kitchen
None (outside)
Cat will have outside privileges? (circle one):
- Yes
- Yes
Cat will be de-clawed? (circle one):
- No
- No
Servant names (List all dwellers of home, including yours):
Breakfast will be served not later than (circle one):
6am
6am
6am
6am
6am
6am
Dinner will be served (circle one -- careful, there is only one right answer):
- 5pm
- 6pm
- 7pm
- Upon demand.
- Eat what's left over from breakfast.
Menu (circle all that apply):
- Friskies
- Whiskas
- 9-Lives
- Meat Loaf
- BBQ Chicken
- Filet Mignon
- Tournados with Bearnaise
- Roti De Porc Poele
- Filet of Fish Poached in Wine Sauce
- Shoulder of Lamb
- Veal Prince Orloff
- Sauteed Scallops
- Salmon Pate
Desserts (circle all that apply):
- Pounce
- Twinkies
- Donuts
- Ice Cream
- Spongecake
- Strawberries in Bavarian Cream
- Caramel Almond Custard
- Chocolate Mousse
- Vanilla Sauce Souffle
- Upside Down Apple Tart
- Crepes with Orange Butter
- Three Butter Cream cake
List three references that I might contact (No dogs, please):
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