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It has already been a week and two days since I got back from Hawaii, and I have not yet had the time or energy to write anything much about my trip aside from a few brief e-mails. I have, however, been reading bits and pieces of Mark Twain's "Letters from Hawaii" and have decided to do something similar to what he did: recounting the visit roughly in chronological order punctuated by stories with certain themes. I'd better get started before I forget everything.

We left for the Big Island on Saturday, October 2nd. I was lucky enough to have a relatively hassle-free journey to the concourse at my hometown airport. Used express check-in. The security line was long, but not slow. Was able to get a seat on the shuttle. And our gate was on the near end of the terminal for once.

The only real hitch at our airport was that the gate number had been changed at the last minute. The gate we had originally been assigned was switched to a flight for Honolulu instead of Kona, but since everyone around us was talking about going to Hawaii, I didn't notice. Dan figured out the change while I was on a potty break, and we had to rush a bit to get to the proper gate before boarding.

The plane was a 767...over 40 rows of seating, but far from roomy. My seat was too high for me to put my feet flat on the floor, and the seat ahead of me as too close for me to straighten out my legs very much. I tried to get up frequently to stretch, but there was hardly any room in the aisle. Not exactly the ideal situation for someone with arthritis, edema and fibromyalgia. I started getting sharp pains in my hips, lower back and feet after two hours, and my toes went numb after four hours. By six hours, I was in tears from the pain.

The food situation was rocky as well. The flight attendent in my section was rude....when I told her I couldn't have wheat and asked what brand of tea they had on the plane, she said she didn't know and walked away and started serving someone else! The airline had discontinued gluten free meals, so they offered a diabetic meal instead. The broiled chicken I was given would have been perfect except for one thing....it was sitting on a bed of PASTA! So I couldn't eat it. There was also bread included in the meal, but fortunately it was wrapped separately, so I was able to give it to Dan without it touching the rest of my food. I did appreciate the fresh fruit, though, and ate a little bit of the spinach salad.

Dan was happy that they showed movies on this flight....two of them in fact. The screen was in front of the center rows, and I was in a window seat, so I could hardly see a thing. Also, there was a short in the headphones, so I couldn't pick up much of the music either.

We arrived at Kona's Keyhole airport right on schedule. I limped down the steps off the plane onto the tarmac and marveled that the air already smelled different, even on the hot pavement. The atmosphere was sweet and full of promise.

The airport was small, and most of it was outdoors, meaning that areas either had no roof or no walls. This took some getting used to, but I soon discovered that many buildings in Hawaii were like this, especially restaurants. In fact, since smoking in restaurants was illegal, whenever you walked into a restaurant, instead of asking you, "smoking or non-smoking", they'd ask you, "Inside or outside?" After awhile, it began to make sense to me as the cooling breezes that were almost constant made air conditioning unnecessary for the most part.

The nice thing about small airports is that it's pretty much impossible to get lost. We were able to find our luggage and the rental car company shuttle easily. There was quite a wait at the rental car outlet because we had been the last ones off our full 767, and I was limping pretty slowly. We had reserved a Jeep Wrangler (a free upgrade as part of the vacation package we had purchased); the one we were assigned was bright green, so we promptly named it the Kermit-mobile. After some delay figuring out how to open the back to load our luggage (neither of us had ever driven a Jeep before), we at last climbed in and we were off on our next adventure: to find our accommodations.

We had reserved a condo in the Waikoloa resort area about 15 miles north of the airport. There is only one main highway circling the island for the most part, so no worries there. The drive to the entrance was scenic in an unusual way: most of the area is black lava rock, miles and miles of it, with a striking mountain, Mt. Hualalai, partially obscured by clouds in the distance. Other visitors and locals have endeavored to break up the monotony of all the black lava fields by spelling out messages with white rocks that are quite easy to see on the black lava. Some messages are greetings, others proclamations of faith or love, and others are just plain funny. There are also, believe it or not, donkey crossing signs. Apparently some time ago a herd of jackasses was left to roam wild and have been dubbed the "Kona nightingales" for their obnoxious braying. This is no myth as Dan saw three of them near the road a few days later.

The Waikaloa resort is sort of startling, such luxury amongst the lava fields. Our condo complex was fairly far down the entrance road, so we ooo'ed and aaah'd as we drove past a Marriott, a fancy shopping complex featuring art galleries and high fashion outlets, elegantly manicured grounds and golf courses, and rows of flowering trees that smelled like heaven. I almost felt like an intruder, so unaccustomed I was to the opulance of the surroundings. Our condo was on the third floor of one of the buildings, accessible by elevator. I was able to remember the number because it was 311 just like the rock band.

The condo was pretty amazing: it was a one-bedroom and larger than many apartments I've lived in. It had a lanai that went from the dining area to the living room with a view of that mountain we had first seen at the airport. There was a full kitchen including a dishwasher, a washer and dryer, and the TV had cable programming, which of course pleased Dan mightily. We brought in the luggage, and after a decent interval of admiring the place, we set off for the nearest town to find a full-service grocery store.

Waikaloa Village isn't that large, so I didn't think we would need directions to find a grocery store. Wrong! Somehow we got trapped in endless cul-de-sacs of a residential area. The homes were very nice to look at, I'll admit, but I hadn't had a decent meal all day and really needed something filling to eat.

Finally, we found our way out, but only saw one restaurant, a bar and grill that mainly served sandwiches. We pulled into the local gas station and asked the attendant if there was anyplace with a more extensive menu. The lady there recommended the restaurant at the golf course, which did not require reservations. This turned out to be an excellent choice. The wait staff was very accommodating and talked to the chef about the ingredients in the fish sauce before my order was prepared. I had sauteed opah with a lemon cream sauce topped with macadamia nuts. Awesome.

Now that my tummy was happy, I was ready to peruse the grocery store. Bought a half dozen eggs and some chicken breasts for some easy main dishes; and asparagus, corn and lots of fresh fruit for side dishes. To my surprise, I found a gluten free frozen dinner and gluten free health bars. I also got some "on the go" foods like yogurt, string cheese, Fritos and a large bag of macadamia nuts. Just enough food that I didn't have to go out to eat if I didn't want to, but not so much that I would have to haul any of it with me to the next island.

Naturally, we were beyond exhausted by the time we dragged ourselves back to the condo. We unloaded the groceries and vegged for the rest of the evening. Took some time to read the guest book in the living room that had been signed by previous occupants. There were people from Japan, Germany, Switzerland, Canada and of course several from California. I sat on the couch to plan where I wanted to go the next day and promptly dozed off.

Woke up fairly early the next day as my brain thought it was four hours later. Dan was already awake and sitting on the lanai. I joined him with my guide book and picked out a few places I wanted to see that day. It was a bit too windy to lounge long out there, so we went inside, tidied up, grabbed some snacks and jumped in the Jeep heading south.

The first place I wanted to see was Pu'uhonua o Honaunau, the sacred place of refuge that had been made a national park. The Big Island doesn't have billboards on its roads and the directional signs are few and far between, so there was some guesswork involved, but we made it there. We got a brochure and read the signs about not disturbing any of the endangered Hawaiian green sea turtles who might come up on shore.

The first thing we noticed was how peaceful it was; the main sound was the waves breaking against the lava rock coastline. Some of the grass huts had been re-constructed so you could get an idea of what they were like before modernization. There were replicas of the watercraft the natives used, fishing implements, etc. There were game boards for konane, the Hawaiian version of checkers, ready to play. And they had replicas of wooden statues that guarded the sanctuary; some were imposing, some funny.

I was snapping pictures like a madwoman, goofing around with all the different settings on the digital camera and then playing them back to see how they had turned out. I was quite shocked to run out of batteries all of a sudden. Turns out I was supposed to fully discharge the rechargable batteries before charging them up again; I hadn't done that, and something called the "memory effect" shorted them right out! So I was only halfway through the park and totally without the ability to take any more pictures. We hopped back in the Jeep to try to find a place that sold batteries. The nearest place was a gas station about 15 miles away that fortunately had two sets of the batteries I needed. I bought both sets, determined not to get caught again.

When we got back to the park, we noticed a bunch of people standing on the rocks near the water staring at something. They were watching the honu (turtles) swimming near the shore. And while I watched, two of them came out of the water and crawled onto the beach! This was a real treat. One was fairly large, his shell about two and a half feet long, and the other was a bit smaller. They didn't seem to mind all the nearby spectators or all the photos we were taking.

After a thorough tour of the remainder of the park, we headed for a nearby sight: a famous "painted" church. St. Benedict's is small but disctinctive; inside, simple wooden pews offset brightly colored Biblical scenes on the walls and painted palm trees on the ceiling. The altar has a Hawaiian touch with the statues of Jesus and Mary garlanded with fresh flower lei. Definitely worth the detour.

On the way to find a local beach park, we came across some unusual wildlife: wild roosters crowing at a most annoying volume, feral cats, and, believe it or not: a mongoose! I believe those orignally come from India. And these bright yellow birds I had never seen anywhere else.

The beach was near a town called Napoopoo. As I approached one of the black lava rocks, I was startled to see that a piece of the rock seemed to move! A closer looked revealed that it was actually a pitch black crab no more than three inches wide. Whenever he stopped moving he seemed to disappear. An excellent example of how nature adapts to its environment.

On the way back to the main highway, we decided to stop at a coffee plantation. The main office contained a gift shop with free samples. I tried a chocolate-covered coffee bean and was instantly hooked! The smell in there was delicious as well. There was a huge roasting machine in a separate room behind a glass window, but it wasn't being used at the moment. I bought a large bag of freshly roasted coffee for a friend and small bags of chocolate coffee beans and macadamia nuts for myself.

After a few wrong turns, we ended up in the town of Kailua-Kona (known by locals simply as Kona). We went to Ali'i Drive, famous for its shopping. I was famished and getting dizzy in the heat, so we decided to eat at their Outback Steakhouse as I know I can get gluten-free meals at that chain. Unfortunately, though, their restaurant was for dinner only and not scheduled to open for another two hours. We grabbed some soft serve at a nearby Dairy Queen so I wouldn't completely pass out and sat for a bit. I felt a little better after that, so we did some window shopping. I went into some art galleries that had fantastic work by local artists.

Our last stop in town was a store called Hilo Hattie's. It's full of Hawaiian goodies, especially "aloha wear" of all kinds. Dan found a shirt he liked, and I snagged a small bottle of gardenia-scented perfume. But neither of us could resist the jewelry. I fell in love with a pair of earrings shaped like plumeria blossoms, made of white gold with pink gold in the center. I also picked up some teardrop-shaped earrings made of black coral (Hawaii's state gemstone). Dan found a really cool ring with two black coral stripes on it.

By this time it was wayyy past time for me to eat, and I was too tired to cook, so we headed to the restaurant at the condo complex. Found out much to our surprise that the restaurant was no longer in business. We went to the Waikoloa resort shopping district to see what they had. There was a steak place that looked promising, and it was empty of customers because most people were on the beach to watch the sunset. So we got right in, and I was able to get fresh broiled ono, which hit the spot.

Back at the condo, I was wiped out, but it was only 7pm, so Dan and I put on our swimsuits and walked to the pool. On the way there, we saw several frogs, taller and much thinner than the toads that freqent my yard at home. Dan thought it was pretty funny that I freaked out when one jumped toward me.

The pool was very nice....a bit cool, but a good place to unwind. Had to watch my footing, though....the bottom was paved with mosaic tiles that were quite slippery. There was also a hot tub nearby, which I really needed. Dan gave me a shoulder rub, which helped reduce my headache quite a bit. Quite the experience, looking up at the stairs and inhaling the scent of plumeria as I relaxed. Left before I got too sleepy to walk back, watching carefully for frogs.

For my last meal of the day, I scrambled some eggs and cut up some papaya I had bought. I'd never eaten fresh papaya before....this was a real treat, a slice of paradise, if you will. Soon after, predictably, I fell asleep on the couch with the guidebook in my hand.