Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Downward spiral....
Tried to get back into the normal routine today. Went to aquacise and wore myself out. Had to come home and take a nap. And just like yesterday, I had a horrible time getting up and getting going after an hour's snooze. Very nearly had to call in sick to work.
A major storm front started heading this way, and my poor joints responded accordingly. I'm STILL out of Bextra. Hoping the rheumatologist is back to his normal work schedule and has gotten the message from the pharmacy requesting a refill. I've been without my anti-inflammatory medication for over a week now.
I'm pretty sure my thyroid is settling back down into the proper range, because the respite from pain and fatigue is completely gone now. And I found myself getting almost tearful at work for no reason at all. I hate feeling like I have no control over my emotions. Fortunately, that doesn't happen very often, and when it does, it seldom lasts long.
So here I am, trying my best not to think bleak thoughts and only partly succeeding. I so want my life to be something more than a series of doctor appointments and an endless struggle to get through yet another workweek. It's not like I don't have any happiness in my life, but sometimes it feels a bit dwarfed in that uphill climb to do normal things.
As always, I will endure. No point in falling apart without cause. But I will be quite relieved when I can finally quit treading water and either float or swim.
Pain level: 8
Fatigue level: 8
A major storm front started heading this way, and my poor joints responded accordingly. I'm STILL out of Bextra. Hoping the rheumatologist is back to his normal work schedule and has gotten the message from the pharmacy requesting a refill. I've been without my anti-inflammatory medication for over a week now.
I'm pretty sure my thyroid is settling back down into the proper range, because the respite from pain and fatigue is completely gone now. And I found myself getting almost tearful at work for no reason at all. I hate feeling like I have no control over my emotions. Fortunately, that doesn't happen very often, and when it does, it seldom lasts long.
So here I am, trying my best not to think bleak thoughts and only partly succeeding. I so want my life to be something more than a series of doctor appointments and an endless struggle to get through yet another workweek. It's not like I don't have any happiness in my life, but sometimes it feels a bit dwarfed in that uphill climb to do normal things.
As always, I will endure. No point in falling apart without cause. But I will be quite relieved when I can finally quit treading water and either float or swim.
Pain level: 8
Fatigue level: 8
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