Monday, January 03, 2005

Well, rats. I crashed. 

Went to meet several members of the family this morning at the nursing home my grandmother recently moved to. She was transferred out of the Alzheimer's facility. Grandma has stage 7 Alzheimer's and is not strong enough to be considered much of a flight risk anymore.

She was confused and a bit nervous, but much better than usual, not combative or tearful. I couldn't understand most of what she said (to be fair, I am hard of hearing), but there was one moment when she was absolutely clear. My cousin told her that I was there, and she said my name, looked right at me and smiled....she clouded over a few seconds later, but that one moment made my day.

We only stayed about an hour and a half because she cannot tolerate lengthy visits. I visited her room briefly...so small, just basically a bed, a chair and a dresser, and she has a roomie. And almost no personal items in there....it made me sad.

My aunt invited Dan and I to lunch, but we had to decline....I was just too tired. I wanted to go to church tonight, and I knew I'd be dozing off during the service unless I took a nap first. So when we got home, I set the alarm to give me enough time to make lunch before church.

Well, it was an all too common scenario....the alarm went off and I simply could not get out of bed. This has been happening at least once a week for a few months now. I guess my thyroid levels are going back toward normal, because the exhaustion is baaaaack.

So I'm revising the resolution I made to go to church more often. I will attend more regularly if and when I stop work. I am just too wiped out on the weekends to commit to much right now.

Dan was cool...let me sleep past time to go to church, and when I finally did get up, all weak and wobbly from not having eaten, he took me to the local Mexican grill for a quick supper. We went to Target to pick up a couple of things, and he bought a copy of "50 First Dates" on DVD.

I had planned to install some software tonight, but I was already getting tired again by the time we got home, so I decided to watch the movie instead. If you haven't seen it, check it out if you want to see some of the places I went to on my trip to Hawaii a few months ago. Adam Sandler's character works at Sea Life Park, where I went swimming with dolphins.

I really hope the sleep specialist has some answers for me when I see her on Thursday. The exhaustion is the biggest obstacle in my life, and I'd really like to know if I can improve the situation at all. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot with all the sleep I require.

Maybe I will install that software after all. That is, if I can stay alert enough to comprehend the instructions.

Pain level: 6
Fatigue level: 9

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