Sunday, March 27, 2005

Hopping in for a bit.... 

.....feels like I've been away for quite awhile.

Called the disability insurance company since they have not approved my absence beyond March 13. My case is still being "reviewed". Said I had to have a doc fill out a functional capacity form even though I'm due to go back in only one more week. What a bunch of crap. So I dropped the form off at the rheumatologist's on Thursday, and they faxed it to the insurance company Friday. Then next week he'll be on vacation and won't return until April 4, the day I'm supposed to go back to work. I can't start my shift without the paperwork in the hands of the human resources company, so this should be interesting.

Got a call from the endocrinologist's office Thursday morning. Seems the doc had to call in sick. I agreed to see her assistant. The assistant was nice enough, but told me I was over-thinking this when I tried to tell her how much trouble I was having figuring out the dietary adjustments for diabetes. I told her I was eating more protein than recommended and she said this was ok as long as I was watching the fat content. So I am going to to back to my regular diet, see how my glucose levels are, and tweak things as necessary. She gave me a glucose monitor. I haven't opened the box yet.....I want to see if my insurance covers that brand of test strips first.

I'm still scared to death to poke myself, even if it doesn't hurt. It's the idea of piercing my skin with a sharp instrument....ack! I won't even go to an acupuncturist even though I'm told that doesn't hurt either. There's a reason I only have one hole in each ear lobe for earrings....it hurt so much the first time that I simply can't bring myself to do it again, even though I like the look. But I will figure out how to use a glucose meter this week.

My appointment with the psychologist was three hours after the end of the endocrinologist visit, but I didn't feel like driving all the way home and then coming back out to the same part of town, so I went to a nearby book store to kill time. I was feeling even more exhausted than usual, but all the handicapped spots were taken, so I had to park further away. I was heading toward the store when my right knee buckled and I almost fell. That has never happened before; I hope it was just a fluke. I also got very weak suddenly while I was in the store. I have never actually passed out when I have gotten like this, but I certainly feel as though I could.

The psychologist was nice. She's new in town. She said I really seem to have my act together mentally, so she's not sure what more there is to be accomplished, but I want to have documentation of my mental state other than that neuropsyche exam I had in October which attibuted my physical problems to somatoform disorder. I don't want some shrink paid by Social Security to spend five minutes with me and dismiss my disability claim with a wave of his hand.

Thursday evening and all of Friday I tried to lay low and make the house look respectable before Dan came home from Florida. I managed to finally finish cleaning the living room, clean the dining room and half the kitchen. I also did all the laundry, including towels, blankets and throw rugs.

Yesterday morning, I got a call at 4am from Dan. Seems his flight had been delayed by two hours. By the time it was all said and done, the plane that was supposed to come in 9:30 our time arrived just before noon! After we got in the house, we put together a grocery list and went to the store. I was grateful to have Dan to push the cart and keep me going. After that, Dan took a nap on the couch while I made peanut butter cookies. I tried using Splenda in place of half the sugar.

We went over to my dad's at 5pm. We had beef for dinner, so I had a good opportunity to really test out my newly filled teeth, which held up pretty well in spite of my jaw STILL being sore from Tuesday. After we ate, we played double board Monopoly. I don't play very well anymore because I tire so fast and have trouble thinking clearly, but I still have fun. It was one heck of a long game, though. After I lost, I sat and put my feet up and read for awhile. Dan conceded after midnight, and the game was still going when we left. We went to bed right after we got home.

We were awakened about 6am today by something that sounded like a jackhammer. It had stopped by the time Dan got up to see what it was, but it had awakened me sufficiently so that I couldn't get back to sleep. I dozed very lightly, waking up every 20 minutes or so, from about 7 to 10:30 or so. I had a fever and an upset stomach too, so I really wasn't in great shape for a family Easter gathering at my aunt's, but, true to form, I went anyway. My aunt hid 87 eggs in her back yard for my cousins' kids to find, but I don't think we ever found them all, which could come back to haunt her in a few weeks. Ewww. We had a very nice ham dinner with yams and steamed asparagus. I brought the peanut butter cookies I'd made; they tasted essentially the same with the Splenda in them as they did with the regular sugar, so I think I'll make them again.

Right now, I'm just about too wiped out to move, and I'm doubting the sanity of me returning to work a week from tomorrow. But I'm tired of fighting with the disability insurance company, tired of waiting for a proper treatment for the periodic limb movement disorder, tired of missing all the software training at work and falling further and further behind. So I'm going to rest as much as I can for the next week, work on some photo stuff at home, and hope that I will miraculously start feeling better. This is going to be my last attempt, though. If I end up going back on leave again, I'm going to file with Social Security.

That's all the news that's fit to print from me. Hippity, hoppity, Easter's on its way.....out.

Pain level: 7
Fatigue level: 9

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