browser life

These are just too funny to be made up! Thanks to Joan for sending this...

HELP DESK LOG...

help desk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
help desk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
help desk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .
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help desk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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help desk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
help desk: Would you click on start for me and .
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
help desk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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help desk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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help desk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
help desk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
help desk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
help desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
help desk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
help desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
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help desk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
help desk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
help desk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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help desk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
help desk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
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help desk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
help desk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
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help desk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
help desk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?