Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ever see "Scanners"? 

You know, the movie where people's heads explode? I feel like that's what's gonna happen to me any minute. Problem is, I've been feeling that way for several days now.

I've had a nearly continuous migraine since my sister's wedding. It did fade some last Tuesday and Wednesday when the weather was cooler, but it never completely went away. Friday was an unintentional do-nothing day because I could not see or think straight enough to haul my carcass off the couch. On Sunday, I started off a bit better because I'd gotten a decent night's sleep the night before, but alas, I couldn't keep up the good vibes. When I was at the concession stand prior to seeing "Must Love Dogs" Sunday night, I couldn't read the sign above the counter with the prices. I don't get auras prior to migraine flareups, but that was as big a clue as I ever get that a monster headache is on its way. It hit me like a bullet after I'd been home for about half an hour. I tried to write a blog entry that night, but I could not even form a coherent sentence or even read what I was trying to write. I thought that was as bad as it could possible get. Wrong.

Woke up yesterday morning even worse: nauseous, disoriented, sensitive to light and motion, etc. Went to aquacise even though I had a bad case of the dizzies and I felt like someone was drilling into my eye sockets. Got home and tried to sit quietly on the couch, but I fell asleep with my neck at an odd angle, which did not help at all. Broke my usual no nap rule because I just had to lie down. Woke up nearly three hours later but feeling no better. Had trouble keeping food down, which I really don't need. Tried cold compress on the forehead, moist head on the back of the head....barely did anything. Finally took a sleeping pill and a Dilaudid together hoping I could sleep it off.

No such luck. In fact, today I nearly hurled while using the Gazelle machine. I hoped that a workout would get some endorphins going or would help somehow, but I ended up with my eyes closed hanging onto the hand rails for dear life because the ceiling fan over my head was causing motion sickness. Ack.

My theory is that I re-activated some old trigger points at the wedding. I know where one is: off to the right of where the spine connects to my skull. I've tried working on it, but the room spins when I do, so I should probably save it for the massage therapist. Problem is, I started cutting back on visits due to declining finances, so instead of going this week like I normally would have, my next appointment isn't until next week when I know I'll have some money. So I'll have to figure out a way to hang tight for another week. Rats.

At the moment, it has backed off enough for me to do this blog entry, but I can tell that the relief is gonna be short-lived because I'm already getting bigger spikes of pain and nausea if I stare at the computer screen for more than a minute or two continuously. I wish there was a migraine med that worked for me.

I guess all I can do is wait and hope it burns itself out. I will make sure next week's massage appointment focuses solely on my neck and base of the skull. And I won't be dancing for awhile because I'm pretty sure that's where the problem began.

In other news, I got a call from my new benefits coordinator with the long-term disability insurance company. I was suprised because I was told I wouldn't hear from anyone for a few weeks. We set up an appointment for a detailed phone interview tomorrow at 2pm. I'm glad I know in advance so I can print out all the stuff I put together for my Social Security application and have it in front of me. I am sooooo absent-minded when I try to talk on the phone, and I need to have my shit together for this. I am counting on my approval for benefits because it will pay 50 percent of my previous income. Without their approval, I have nothing at all until Social Security kicks in, which could be a year from now. I want to get the ball rolling ASAP and see what the insurance company has in mind as far as assisting me with filing for Social Security.

Have borrowed the first two "Harry Potter" books from a friend but so far am only up to Chapter 2 on the first one. Haven't been able to focus much with the headache plus I've become a slow reader with all the cognitive dysfunction going on. Still, it should go better than the one I was reading about Katharine Hepburn and feminism.....I just couldn't comprehend much of it and finally had to put it down. Maybe later.

Good news on the weather front: tomorrow it is supposed to only get to the 80's, and 70's on Thursday! Yayyyyyyy! That alone should have me feeling better. Then temperatures in the 80's through the beginning of next week. It would be nice to be able to venture outside again. Dan finally took pity on me last week and went in the yard and pulled the weeds himself. I had been unable to do any yard work for a month because of the heat. He was able to do nearly all of it in only two days. At my pace, even if I'd been able to work on it every single day, it would have taken me at least two weeks to accomplish the same thing. I'm hoping if it stays a bit cooler but doesn't rain that I'll be able to fertilize the front yard. I'll probably take a peek in the back too and tidy up any weeds that Dan may have missed.

Well, my brain is sufficiently drained for the moment.

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