Monday, August 29, 2005

Here will be heard a discouraging word.... 

Yeah, I know what I posted yesterday. I read it, and it's not helping. Sometimes positive thoughts just don't seem to do the job in cheering me up.

I think part of the reason is the continued decline in my physical capability. Yesterday, I tried to fertilize the yard, something I was able to do just three months ago, but this time, I couldn't finish the job and had to ask my husband to bail me out. And my fatigue is significant enough to make me require a nap after just having a conversation with a friend.

But it's not all simple cause and effect. I'm also having sudden bursts of sadness that seem to come out of nowhere and aren't really related to anything specific that I can think of. Good ol' chemical imbalance, I suspect.

Well, I can't take anti-depressants because I can't tolerate them, and I'm already going to a shrink once a week, so I don't know what else to do with myself. I guess I just have to keep pluggin' away and let these downer moods wear themselves out.

But I'm soooooo tired emotionally.

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