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Haven't reported on how I'm doing in quite a while. I've been in super avoidance mode. Also, we had company, so I spent quite a bit of time away from the computer while attempting to tidy the house before their arrival and then entertaining after their arrival. I feel semi-comatose tonight.

Dan was supposed to hear back last week about whether the ad agency in South Dakota wanted him for a second interview, but they didn't call, so he called them today. The person he needed to speak with was in a meeting, so he left a message. He didn't get a return call today, but since it was an afternoon meeting, that call might happen tomorrow. If it doesn't, I guess he can try again Wednesday.

I was invited to visit a friend in a few weeks, but I haven't been able to give an answer yet until I know whether Dan needs to fly for South Dakota for an interview. We don't have the funds for two plane trips in the same month, so either he gets to travel or I do. If I am going to do any traveling, I should probably do so now because both my income and my physcial ability in the future are too uncertain.

My illness continues to progress faster than I am comfortable with. I realize I can't stop this from happening, but I'd hoped that the decline would be slower now that I'm not working. I decided a week and a half ago that I would dust the house, something I'd been able to do a few months ago as long as I paced myself. I went verrrrrry slowwwly this time, working perhaps 15 minutes at a stretch and then resting. I limited myself to two rooms a day and let Dan handle the bathrooms since those require scrubbing. It took me four days to do the whole house. It wasn't that I was looking to impress company, but I realized that if Dan does get that job in South Dakota, we are gonna have to sell this house pronto, and it's gotta be clean for that to happen. As it is, if Dan gets hired right away, he ain't gonna be here to do all the tidying for me, and I'll likely have to bribe family members to scrub walls, apply touch up paint, etc. while I de-clutter enough so that a realtor can show the house. So I thought simple dusting was something I could handle.

Wrong! Oh, so VERY wrong! I developed back spasms, a stiff neck, a headache and other assorted pains the very first day, and the fibromyalgia moved in and cranked the agony up to 11. At one point, my back seized up to the point that I had trouble breathing, the pain was so intense. I tried muscle relaxants, my emergency pain med, Icy Hot patches...very little relief. And the pain level just won't come down much. I haven't touched a dust rag since Wednesday, and my neck is still stiff and sore, and I've still got headaches from it. In just the past two weeks, I've been tears from pain on four different days. I desperately need some strong pain medication, but none is to be had. So I've just been pushing on, trying to cope until I go to the massage therapist tomorrow morning. It has been a monumental chore to not let the pain cloud everything else in my life. May have something to do with my current zombie state, ya think?

Tried a new recipe so we'd have something to re-heat quickly while the in-laws were here. I made cabbage soup with very lean ground beef. Unfortunately, I was only able to cut up some onion and peppers before my hands gave out, so I had to get Dan to chop cabbage and carrots. He nearly succeed in decapitating his thumb. I also severely underestimated how much cabbage is contained in a head. I needed seven cups for the recipe, but I had no idea how many heads to buy, so I bought four. Two was plenty. So now I have two heads of cabbage in the fridge that I have no idea what to do with. I guess I should find a recipe for stir fry??

I also made barbeque turkey. That would have gone smoothly except for one thing: right before I was gonna start it, I dropped a half gallon bottle full of water on my foot. It only made a small bruise, but it hurt so damned bad I couldn't walk on it. So Dan and his mom both had to come to my rescue, cutting peppers, onions and turkey because I was too hysterically in pain to think straight. I would have liked to have made potato salad for a side dish, but I practically burn down the house when I try to do more than one complicated (meaning involving more than microwaving) dish per meal, so I just heated some frozen veggies instead.

I did manage to have fun while the in-laws were here. On Friday, we went to a craft fair. I rode in my trusty chariot (wheelchair) while Dan chaffeured. There was lots of really creative stuff to look at, and some of it was very tempting. I restrained myself, though, and only purchased one item: a hand-painted Russian horse Christmas ornament. I struck up a conversation with a photographer; we talked about the best places to get shots of wild horses, viewing wildlife in national parks, digital versus 35mm, etc. Turns out he used to also work as a photographer at a local tv station, so we talked a bit about working in the media too. He gave me a business card so I can check out his website. He even gave me a few tips, such as mounting a camera on a car window if I can't get out and hike around. He does books too and knows publishers and suggested I contact him should I ever become interested in putting together a book. That I may do as I would like to get involved in something of that nature once I get done with this SSDI and LTD bullshit.

Speaking of the long-term disability company, they are blowing me off yet again. I get a phone call from the claim rep asking for addresses of docs I don't even go to anymore. The company wants to analyze my neuropsyche exam and my most recent sleep study before they decide if they're gonna approve me for benefits. And, naturally, they require ANOTHER 30 day extension to do this. So it looks like they're gonna drag out the approval process until at least December. Apparently, they can delay indefinitely as long as there exist medical records they haven't viewed yet. I know my case isn't that complicated and that they are just stalling to see how long they can get away without paying me. Bastards.

I have continued to acquire medical records for my SSDI claim. I have gotten the rest of the ones from my ENT, all of my primary care's, the ones from the rheumatologist I went to for a second opinion, and I'm in the process of getting them from my endocrinologist. I still haven't gotten any from the gastroenterologist despite two requests. Probably won't matter as I'm having new digestive issues and need to see her again anyway and can request them in person the next time I visit. Also will see my regular rheumatologist next week and will throw in the latest office notes. There are three other doctors I should probably get records from, but I haven't made up my mind yet whether I want to hassle with that. I plan to take all the ones I do get and present copies of them in person at my local Social Security office to be added to my file so I can get a receipt and have no doubt whether anyone got them.

Oooh, I think I'm gonna regret having typed this much. Guess I should post updates more often so they'll be shorter, eh?