Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Dammit!
Sorry I couldn't think of a more dignified word to sum up my reaction to the news I got today. But it's my blog and I'll swear if I need to. Well, not TOO much as I would turn away some of my readers.
Got a letter in the mail with yesterday's date stamped on it entitled "Notice of Disapproved Claim". The Social Security Administration has determined that I am not disabled under their "rules". Ironic that I get this just 11 days after the consultative exam. I think they probably gave that doc's report the most weight. Talked to my rheumatologist today, and he doesn't have the CE report yet, so he didn't know I'd been denied either.
Odd, though, that they used reports from 11 of the 15 docs I gave them medical records to make their decision. They do acknowledge that I do have Sjogren's syndrome, fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, gastroparesis, periodic limb movement disorder, diabetes and cognitive and memory problems, yet the sum total of all this is not disabling? Do they think I'm collecting ailments as a hobby??
They actually come out and say that I cannot do any of my previous jobs. In addition, they have determined that I should not lift more than 20 pounds (I can barely lift 10) and should not do work requiring me to stand, balance, crawl, crouch, bend climb or kneel for extended periods, or do anything complex or which requires attention or concentration. Um, what the hell else is left? Yet they insist I can still work.
I think they are discriminating against my age and education level. The letter actually states, "at your age, 41 years old, and with your colllege education, you can do other work". Well, pardon me for getting sick at such an inconvenient age and for getting an education while I was healthy! Tards!
And just what are these "other" jobs? What employer in their right mind would hire someone who must rest 12 hours a day, who falls asleep at inappropriate times, who must use the restroom at inconvenient times, who can barely walk across a room, who runs into things due to vertigo, who misunderstands simple instructions, who can't sit for more than two hours without aggravating her edema, who can't do math in her head, who sometimes has trouble speaking and writing, who can't do repetitive activity, who can't hear very well, who forgets things like how to spell her own name, and who can't even drive because she's impaired by her meds?? I couldn't even qualify for a job where I ask people if they want fries with that.
It's not that I want to be disabled. I really don't. It has broken my heart, some of the job opportunities I've had to let go by. Were I healthy, I could do graphic art/copy writing/web design for a prominent company, and I'd be good at it, too! But then I remember how I couldn't handle my light sedentary, low stress, no-brainer 36-hour a week job at the newspapers after I got sick, and my dream job gets to go to someone else. How I wish I could assure Dan that we'd have no problem paying our bills. Now I can't honestly assure him that we won't lose the house.
So how have I handled the worst news of the year so far? First, I read all the material Social Security sent me on what to do if I don't agree with their denial. Then, I called a lawyer and made an appointment to meet with him on Friday morning. Dan will take me and will haul the behemoth file folder I have accumulated with medical records and other necessities. I also want him to help me talk with the lawyer in case I forget any stuff.
Next, I whined on a bunch of message boards and railed against the unfairness of the Social Security system. Then, I broke into Dan's stash of candy. He had peppermints covered in dark chocolate, and it was an emergency!! Then I polished off all the cheese spread in the house. Kinda hard to eat yourself into a coma without any meat, alcohol or desserts in the house. And I can't even order a pizza.
So I've been alternating between depressed, pissed and scared ever since I opened that envelope. If the long-term disability insurance company denies my claim with them as well, I'm screwed. Is it too much to ask to be treated like a human being who simply had the misfortune of getting sick?? I shouldn't have to be at death's door for it to be agreed upon that I shouldn't be working.
What happens next? Well, I have 60 days to appeal Social Security's denial. When I appeal, I ask for a hearing with an Administrative Law Judge (ALJ). And then I wait. And wait. And wait. I believe the wait time for a hearing is at least six months. So it might be summer before I see the judge. At the hearing, it will be me, my lawyer, the judge, probably a vocation expert who states what other jobs I can do, Dan if they will allow him in, and any other witnesses the judge allows. The hearing is informal, but it is recorded. The judge reads all the stuff in my file and listens to all that is said in court. He/she then can take about a month to decide. And then it will take about another month for me to find out what the decision is.
I think my case is strong, I really do. Social Security already agrees I can't do any of my past jobs. Now I just have to convince a judge that I can't be a greeter at Wally World, a button sorter or a ticket taker or whatever exciting occupations that supposedly exist in the US economy. And having the lawyer helps, even though I'm not thrilled about giving up 25 percent of my back pay as a fee. In my state, you have a 50 percent chance of winning a judge hearing, but if you have a lawyer, the chance of approval goes up to 75 percent.
But the denial still hurts. A lot. And I won't say I'm not bitter, because I am.
"I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now how do I feel
"Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They will turn away no more
"And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me
Just how I should feel today"
--from "Blue Monday" by New Order
Got a letter in the mail with yesterday's date stamped on it entitled "Notice of Disapproved Claim". The Social Security Administration has determined that I am not disabled under their "rules". Ironic that I get this just 11 days after the consultative exam. I think they probably gave that doc's report the most weight. Talked to my rheumatologist today, and he doesn't have the CE report yet, so he didn't know I'd been denied either.
Odd, though, that they used reports from 11 of the 15 docs I gave them medical records to make their decision. They do acknowledge that I do have Sjogren's syndrome, fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, gastroparesis, periodic limb movement disorder, diabetes and cognitive and memory problems, yet the sum total of all this is not disabling? Do they think I'm collecting ailments as a hobby??
They actually come out and say that I cannot do any of my previous jobs. In addition, they have determined that I should not lift more than 20 pounds (I can barely lift 10) and should not do work requiring me to stand, balance, crawl, crouch, bend climb or kneel for extended periods, or do anything complex or which requires attention or concentration. Um, what the hell else is left? Yet they insist I can still work.
I think they are discriminating against my age and education level. The letter actually states, "at your age, 41 years old, and with your colllege education, you can do other work". Well, pardon me for getting sick at such an inconvenient age and for getting an education while I was healthy! Tards!
And just what are these "other" jobs? What employer in their right mind would hire someone who must rest 12 hours a day, who falls asleep at inappropriate times, who must use the restroom at inconvenient times, who can barely walk across a room, who runs into things due to vertigo, who misunderstands simple instructions, who can't sit for more than two hours without aggravating her edema, who can't do math in her head, who sometimes has trouble speaking and writing, who can't do repetitive activity, who can't hear very well, who forgets things like how to spell her own name, and who can't even drive because she's impaired by her meds?? I couldn't even qualify for a job where I ask people if they want fries with that.
It's not that I want to be disabled. I really don't. It has broken my heart, some of the job opportunities I've had to let go by. Were I healthy, I could do graphic art/copy writing/web design for a prominent company, and I'd be good at it, too! But then I remember how I couldn't handle my light sedentary, low stress, no-brainer 36-hour a week job at the newspapers after I got sick, and my dream job gets to go to someone else. How I wish I could assure Dan that we'd have no problem paying our bills. Now I can't honestly assure him that we won't lose the house.
So how have I handled the worst news of the year so far? First, I read all the material Social Security sent me on what to do if I don't agree with their denial. Then, I called a lawyer and made an appointment to meet with him on Friday morning. Dan will take me and will haul the behemoth file folder I have accumulated with medical records and other necessities. I also want him to help me talk with the lawyer in case I forget any stuff.
Next, I whined on a bunch of message boards and railed against the unfairness of the Social Security system. Then, I broke into Dan's stash of candy. He had peppermints covered in dark chocolate, and it was an emergency!! Then I polished off all the cheese spread in the house. Kinda hard to eat yourself into a coma without any meat, alcohol or desserts in the house. And I can't even order a pizza.
So I've been alternating between depressed, pissed and scared ever since I opened that envelope. If the long-term disability insurance company denies my claim with them as well, I'm screwed. Is it too much to ask to be treated like a human being who simply had the misfortune of getting sick?? I shouldn't have to be at death's door for it to be agreed upon that I shouldn't be working.
What happens next? Well, I have 60 days to appeal Social Security's denial. When I appeal, I ask for a hearing with an Administrative Law Judge (ALJ). And then I wait. And wait. And wait. I believe the wait time for a hearing is at least six months. So it might be summer before I see the judge. At the hearing, it will be me, my lawyer, the judge, probably a vocation expert who states what other jobs I can do, Dan if they will allow him in, and any other witnesses the judge allows. The hearing is informal, but it is recorded. The judge reads all the stuff in my file and listens to all that is said in court. He/she then can take about a month to decide. And then it will take about another month for me to find out what the decision is.
I think my case is strong, I really do. Social Security already agrees I can't do any of my past jobs. Now I just have to convince a judge that I can't be a greeter at Wally World, a button sorter or a ticket taker or whatever exciting occupations that supposedly exist in the US economy. And having the lawyer helps, even though I'm not thrilled about giving up 25 percent of my back pay as a fee. In my state, you have a 50 percent chance of winning a judge hearing, but if you have a lawyer, the chance of approval goes up to 75 percent.
But the denial still hurts. A lot. And I won't say I'm not bitter, because I am.
"I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now how do I feel
"Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They will turn away no more
"And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me
Just how I should feel today"
--from "Blue Monday" by New Order
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