Friday, April 21, 2006
Liar, liar pants on fire???
Don't know if I'll be able to get this to post as my computer still crashes repeatedly, but I will give it one more shot.
Today, I read the reports of a functional capacity exam and a neuropych exam that I was forced to do by my long-term disability insurance company. Even though these were described as "independent medical exams", the people who did them were paid by the LTD company, so how can they be truly independent? I checked the background of the people who conducted these tests, and both facilities have a history of providing information that led to this LTD company denying valid claims (which they lost after lengthy legal battles).
The functional capacity exam did say I am only capable of sedentary work, but it also said some things that were flat-out untrue, such as I gave sub-maximal effort on some of the strength tests. I have neuropathy, so my strength can vary. It also said that my reported pain level was exaggerated because I walked out of the facility under my own power (just barely, and I was unable to walk the following day).
They also claimed I could work sitting for at least five and a half hours a day based on sitting for a 40 minute interview, could kneel for up to five and a half hours a day even though my feet went numb during that test, and could walk up to two and a half hours a day even though I was completely unable to do a treadmill test. For every portion of the test I could not finish, the reason was given that I stopped due to physical complaints when the reality was that on a few of them, the examiner stopped me from continuing due to me nearly collapsing. The overall picture in the report was that of someone who wasn't trying hard enough and was lying about her abilities.
The neuropsych exam report was actually worse, which really surprised me. The examiner had read the results of my previous neuropsych test (where I was diagnosed with somatorm disorder which has since been refuted by my current therapist) before she examined me. Is that unethical?
I informed the examiner during the tests that I was extremely fatigued, and indeed, I actually dozed off at a computer at one point, but that was not mentioned, and instead, I was accused having questionable motivation. My responses on some of the tests were apparently inconsistent, and this was interpreted as not making an effort when in fact I was trying my best. The examiner threw out nearly the entire exam as invalid and did not list specific results.
The only thing the examiner decided was valid was the 500 plus question "personality" exam where I had missed a response somewhere on the answer sheet and was off by one on at the last 100 questions or so. This was not noted on the report. Instead, the report concluded that I had somatoform disorder and was possibly manipulating the exam for personal gain!
It really hurts to be essentially called a liar when I was trying my very best on both tests. I can't help it if my grip strength doesn't form a perfect bell curve or if I have moments of alertness followed by moments of fibro fog. They say I am reluctant to acknowledge a psychological basis for my pain and fatigue....well, who wouldn't be reluctant knowing what sort of interpretation is possible??
I feel betrayed. The neuropsych report said I have no objective evidence of illness! I'm sitting here questioning my self-worth even though I know you can't fake a positive lip biopsy, an endoscopy showing gastroparesis, x-rays showing arthritis, bloodwork showing diabetes and bodywide inflammation or an EMG showing neuropathy. What sort of personal gain do they think I would actually derive? Oh, hooray, I want to live on 50 percent or less of my income rather than work a ridiculously easy, lucrative job with incredible benefits and union protection? Oh, hooray, I want to lose my house and move to a climate where the winters are colder and the summers hotter? Oh, hooray, I want to lose every ounce of self-respect by allowing private companies, the federal government and disreputable medical personnel to annihilate my credibility? Sounds to me like I'm not the one who is crazy.
Yeah, I know I shouldn't let them get to me. But being called a liar is my Achilles heel. No way in hell I can pretend it isn't.
Whimper.
Today, I read the reports of a functional capacity exam and a neuropych exam that I was forced to do by my long-term disability insurance company. Even though these were described as "independent medical exams", the people who did them were paid by the LTD company, so how can they be truly independent? I checked the background of the people who conducted these tests, and both facilities have a history of providing information that led to this LTD company denying valid claims (which they lost after lengthy legal battles).
The functional capacity exam did say I am only capable of sedentary work, but it also said some things that were flat-out untrue, such as I gave sub-maximal effort on some of the strength tests. I have neuropathy, so my strength can vary. It also said that my reported pain level was exaggerated because I walked out of the facility under my own power (just barely, and I was unable to walk the following day).
They also claimed I could work sitting for at least five and a half hours a day based on sitting for a 40 minute interview, could kneel for up to five and a half hours a day even though my feet went numb during that test, and could walk up to two and a half hours a day even though I was completely unable to do a treadmill test. For every portion of the test I could not finish, the reason was given that I stopped due to physical complaints when the reality was that on a few of them, the examiner stopped me from continuing due to me nearly collapsing. The overall picture in the report was that of someone who wasn't trying hard enough and was lying about her abilities.
The neuropsych exam report was actually worse, which really surprised me. The examiner had read the results of my previous neuropsych test (where I was diagnosed with somatorm disorder which has since been refuted by my current therapist) before she examined me. Is that unethical?
I informed the examiner during the tests that I was extremely fatigued, and indeed, I actually dozed off at a computer at one point, but that was not mentioned, and instead, I was accused having questionable motivation. My responses on some of the tests were apparently inconsistent, and this was interpreted as not making an effort when in fact I was trying my best. The examiner threw out nearly the entire exam as invalid and did not list specific results.
The only thing the examiner decided was valid was the 500 plus question "personality" exam where I had missed a response somewhere on the answer sheet and was off by one on at the last 100 questions or so. This was not noted on the report. Instead, the report concluded that I had somatoform disorder and was possibly manipulating the exam for personal gain!
It really hurts to be essentially called a liar when I was trying my very best on both tests. I can't help it if my grip strength doesn't form a perfect bell curve or if I have moments of alertness followed by moments of fibro fog. They say I am reluctant to acknowledge a psychological basis for my pain and fatigue....well, who wouldn't be reluctant knowing what sort of interpretation is possible??
I feel betrayed. The neuropsych report said I have no objective evidence of illness! I'm sitting here questioning my self-worth even though I know you can't fake a positive lip biopsy, an endoscopy showing gastroparesis, x-rays showing arthritis, bloodwork showing diabetes and bodywide inflammation or an EMG showing neuropathy. What sort of personal gain do they think I would actually derive? Oh, hooray, I want to live on 50 percent or less of my income rather than work a ridiculously easy, lucrative job with incredible benefits and union protection? Oh, hooray, I want to lose my house and move to a climate where the winters are colder and the summers hotter? Oh, hooray, I want to lose every ounce of self-respect by allowing private companies, the federal government and disreputable medical personnel to annihilate my credibility? Sounds to me like I'm not the one who is crazy.
Yeah, I know I shouldn't let them get to me. But being called a liar is my Achilles heel. No way in hell I can pretend it isn't.
Whimper.
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