Friday, July 14, 2006
Caved in.....
This morning was not a good one. Absolutely could not get out of bed. Finally dragged myself out about 10:30 right before the massage therapist called to cancel my afternoon appointment. My right arm was numb off and on for the first half hour I was up, and it was absolutely excruciating to even put my feet on the floor. I decided I'd had enough of this stinking flare and called the primary care doc's office. Fortunately, she'd had a cancellation for that afternoon, so I made an appointment.
Showed the doc the lump on my hand. She said it was just a cyst. Works for me.
But she agreed with me that this flare needs to be stopped as I am on the verge of becoming bedridden. So I am going on a steroid dose pack for a week. I've done this enough times to know the routine and the side effects and when it is worthwhile to do this. A short dose pack like this won't cause any lasting damage to my glucose levels or blood pressure, but it will give me insomnia for a few days. I am willing to risk it, though, to get a chance to become more clear-headed, free of neuropathy and other neurological problems, to be able move with normal pace and flexibility, and to actually have some damned energy. This is as close as I can get to a "do-over". Most of these symptoms will return as I wean back off the steroids, but they should be diminished in intensity, and if I do a good job taking care of myself, I will actually stand a chance of getting through the rest of the summer on my own. I'm starting the medication first thing tomorrow morning.
Had another showing tonight. Yayyy! Keep 'em coming! Hope one of them will result in an offer sooner rather than later.
Got home after the showing and totally crashed on the couch from "Jeopardy" at 6pm to the end of "Grey's Anatomy" at 9pm. Only got up to eat at 7:30. Was in tears from pain and exhaustion. It's very difficult to explain how a person can be so tired that it's physically excruciating, but it's the absolute truth.
So I am quite ready to experience the incredible heightened sense of well-being that comes from the first day of steroids and then the gradual decline and inevitable depression of the last day at the smallest dose where the illness tries to come flooding back (hopefully at a reduced intensity than before I started the med).
I'm looking forward to getting through a blog entry without dozing off even once.
Showed the doc the lump on my hand. She said it was just a cyst. Works for me.
But she agreed with me that this flare needs to be stopped as I am on the verge of becoming bedridden. So I am going on a steroid dose pack for a week. I've done this enough times to know the routine and the side effects and when it is worthwhile to do this. A short dose pack like this won't cause any lasting damage to my glucose levels or blood pressure, but it will give me insomnia for a few days. I am willing to risk it, though, to get a chance to become more clear-headed, free of neuropathy and other neurological problems, to be able move with normal pace and flexibility, and to actually have some damned energy. This is as close as I can get to a "do-over". Most of these symptoms will return as I wean back off the steroids, but they should be diminished in intensity, and if I do a good job taking care of myself, I will actually stand a chance of getting through the rest of the summer on my own. I'm starting the medication first thing tomorrow morning.
Had another showing tonight. Yayyy! Keep 'em coming! Hope one of them will result in an offer sooner rather than later.
Got home after the showing and totally crashed on the couch from "Jeopardy" at 6pm to the end of "Grey's Anatomy" at 9pm. Only got up to eat at 7:30. Was in tears from pain and exhaustion. It's very difficult to explain how a person can be so tired that it's physically excruciating, but it's the absolute truth.
So I am quite ready to experience the incredible heightened sense of well-being that comes from the first day of steroids and then the gradual decline and inevitable depression of the last day at the smallest dose where the illness tries to come flooding back (hopefully at a reduced intensity than before I started the med).
I'm looking forward to getting through a blog entry without dozing off even once.
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