Saturday, July 15, 2006
The Predni-zone!
Woke up yesterday when the alarm went off but was so incredibly out of it that all i could do was let Chip out for a potty break and then go straight back to bed. An hour later, the telephone company called to ask me if I had gotten my new phone books yet (that's the second time they've called, and, no, I don't have the books). I decided then I should begin my day whether I felt up to it or not as Chip needed a walk before it got too hot outside and I hadn't called my neighbor/friend to ask her to do it. Besides, I needed to get started on the prednisone. This was about 9:30.
I started to feel different after only about an hour. Suddenly, it was easier to talk without a lot of premeditation. Also, my hands stopped aching so much. And my mood definitely improved. I mean, who wouldn't be more cheerful if the crushing burden of chronic illness were lightened and one was able to re-experience at least in part what it was like to feel normal again? In other words, YAYYYYYYYYY!!!
By noon, I was itching to go somewhere, anywhere, because I didn't want to waste the opportunity of increased mobility and energy. But this is one of the biggest pitfalls of chronic illness: the few occasions we feel good, we desperately want to make up for all the days/weeks/months/years that we were unable to do as we wished, and we do too much. Then the illness comes flooding back with all its limitations, and we are crushed again, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I have to be able to get through the rest of the summer on my own, so the last thing I should do is burn myself out, even with the best of intentions. After all, I want the prednisone to have had some lasting good, and if I spend the week that I'm taking it doing Herculean things, I'll could end up in even worse shape than before when it wears off. So I did the opposite of what I felt like doing; I took a nap. This may sound like a weird thing to do, but believe me, it's not. After a few days with the prednisone in my system, I will develop insomnia, and I won't be able to sleep at all even when I want to. Hence the nap while it was still possible. I slept for two and a half hours and awoke feeling almost as good as a healthy person.
I did decide to do one thing I probably could not have done without the prednisone: I went to see the pirate movie at the new local cinema with my friend/neighbor. I considered this to be a mini-vacation and within the bounds of not overdoing it. Funny, though, when my friend called to see if I'd looked up the show times, she almost didn't recognize my voice on the phone because I was talking faster and sounded jovial. Luckily, she knew me before I got sick and remembered that that is how I used to sound. How I do love to get my brains back. I just wish I could show my docs the before and after of my speech, behavior and mobility so they could see how significant the difference is. I drove since I knew I'd have the energy to do so for once, even after the movie was over. And I didn't have to get upset that all the handicapped spaces were taken; I just parked at the first open space I saw, even though it meant I would have to walk quite a bit further. I kept marveling at the ease with which I was getting in and out of the car; it's pretty amazing what you can do when your knees bend properly, heh heh. I was able to stand in line at the concession stand without an inordinate amount of pain in my feet, and I was able to climb the stairs in the theatre without hanging onto the rail and dragging myself up. And I was not out of breath when I got to a seat; in fact, it seemed easier to breathe, like an elephant had been removed from my chest. I got through the entire movie without needing a potty break and had very little trouble standing and walking when it was over (usually I have stiffened up rather like the Tin Man). I ended my day with a pain level of about 3 on a scale of 1 to 10 instead of the usual 8 or 9.
Today, I awoke after only six hours, but I made myself go back to bed and was able to sleep for another two hours. As tempting as it is to go out and conquer the world this weekend, I am going to pretty much stick to my usual activity: stretches, Gazelle machine, blog entries, dishes, keeping the house de-cluttered. I will do a few things a bit differently, though: I might do all my laundry this afternoon instead of limiting myself to one load at a time, and I will walk to the mailbox instead of driving. I feel good enough to pull weeds right now, but unfortunately, it's 102 degrees outside (at the time of this writing), and it's probably a poor idea for even a healthy person to exert themselves in that kind of heat. So I will wait until 6pm or so. And I might do some scrapbooking in the hope that my mind is sharp enough right now for me to come up with some clever page layouts and that if I should be notified of a showing, I'll be able to clear up the mess quickly. And maybe I'll watch some movies on DVD while my brain can follow a complicated plot or fast pace.
I am desperately hoping that if I pace myself, when the prednisone has worn off, some of my improved functioning will remain. I know better than to expect miracles because I've been through this routine so many times. But maybe the illness will cut me some slack until the house sells? One can only hope. And pray.
I started to feel different after only about an hour. Suddenly, it was easier to talk without a lot of premeditation. Also, my hands stopped aching so much. And my mood definitely improved. I mean, who wouldn't be more cheerful if the crushing burden of chronic illness were lightened and one was able to re-experience at least in part what it was like to feel normal again? In other words, YAYYYYYYYYY!!!
By noon, I was itching to go somewhere, anywhere, because I didn't want to waste the opportunity of increased mobility and energy. But this is one of the biggest pitfalls of chronic illness: the few occasions we feel good, we desperately want to make up for all the days/weeks/months/years that we were unable to do as we wished, and we do too much. Then the illness comes flooding back with all its limitations, and we are crushed again, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I have to be able to get through the rest of the summer on my own, so the last thing I should do is burn myself out, even with the best of intentions. After all, I want the prednisone to have had some lasting good, and if I spend the week that I'm taking it doing Herculean things, I'll could end up in even worse shape than before when it wears off. So I did the opposite of what I felt like doing; I took a nap. This may sound like a weird thing to do, but believe me, it's not. After a few days with the prednisone in my system, I will develop insomnia, and I won't be able to sleep at all even when I want to. Hence the nap while it was still possible. I slept for two and a half hours and awoke feeling almost as good as a healthy person.
I did decide to do one thing I probably could not have done without the prednisone: I went to see the pirate movie at the new local cinema with my friend/neighbor. I considered this to be a mini-vacation and within the bounds of not overdoing it. Funny, though, when my friend called to see if I'd looked up the show times, she almost didn't recognize my voice on the phone because I was talking faster and sounded jovial. Luckily, she knew me before I got sick and remembered that that is how I used to sound. How I do love to get my brains back. I just wish I could show my docs the before and after of my speech, behavior and mobility so they could see how significant the difference is. I drove since I knew I'd have the energy to do so for once, even after the movie was over. And I didn't have to get upset that all the handicapped spaces were taken; I just parked at the first open space I saw, even though it meant I would have to walk quite a bit further. I kept marveling at the ease with which I was getting in and out of the car; it's pretty amazing what you can do when your knees bend properly, heh heh. I was able to stand in line at the concession stand without an inordinate amount of pain in my feet, and I was able to climb the stairs in the theatre without hanging onto the rail and dragging myself up. And I was not out of breath when I got to a seat; in fact, it seemed easier to breathe, like an elephant had been removed from my chest. I got through the entire movie without needing a potty break and had very little trouble standing and walking when it was over (usually I have stiffened up rather like the Tin Man). I ended my day with a pain level of about 3 on a scale of 1 to 10 instead of the usual 8 or 9.
Today, I awoke after only six hours, but I made myself go back to bed and was able to sleep for another two hours. As tempting as it is to go out and conquer the world this weekend, I am going to pretty much stick to my usual activity: stretches, Gazelle machine, blog entries, dishes, keeping the house de-cluttered. I will do a few things a bit differently, though: I might do all my laundry this afternoon instead of limiting myself to one load at a time, and I will walk to the mailbox instead of driving. I feel good enough to pull weeds right now, but unfortunately, it's 102 degrees outside (at the time of this writing), and it's probably a poor idea for even a healthy person to exert themselves in that kind of heat. So I will wait until 6pm or so. And I might do some scrapbooking in the hope that my mind is sharp enough right now for me to come up with some clever page layouts and that if I should be notified of a showing, I'll be able to clear up the mess quickly. And maybe I'll watch some movies on DVD while my brain can follow a complicated plot or fast pace.
I am desperately hoping that if I pace myself, when the prednisone has worn off, some of my improved functioning will remain. I know better than to expect miracles because I've been through this routine so many times. But maybe the illness will cut me some slack until the house sells? One can only hope. And pray.
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