Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Can't believe my ears..... 

Finally got in to see an ENT today and had my first hearing test in five years. The previous one had showed mild loss in the left ear complicated by tinnitus (the right ear is deaf from a childhood illness). I figured today's test wouldn't be that much different. But, no, it is noticeably and measurably worse, and I have progressed to moderate hearing loss on the left side that doesn't have much in the way of treatment. The ENT says the Sjogren's is causing it. No way to tell if it will continue to worsen or level off.

I guess the good news is that it took 12 years to get this bad, so if it does progress further, it might not become severe for another decade or two. But there is a chance, possibly small, that I could become completely deaf. As an ex-DJ, I would really be heartbroken if I couldn't listen to music anymore.

Between this and the recent discovery of the compressed disk in my back, I need a bit of time to grieve the addition of more permanent quality of life impediments. Yes, I do indulge in pity parties, brief ones, so I can get them out of the way and then go back to figuring out how to keep on keeping on. For the moment, though, I am discouraged as hell.

Feebly waving a white flag.

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