Monday, November 15, 2010
Rave of the Day for November 15, 2010:
Digging into the archives again for funnies not previously posted. I don't remember the source of this one, only that I sent it as an e-mail wayyy back in 2003....
Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work
1. You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2003.
2. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.
3. You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
4. You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
5. People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
6. No longer content with merely photocopying your hand, you now scan and enhance it with Photoshop.
7. You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs.
8. The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Rules
1. The BOSS always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No EMPLOYEE can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the BOSS suspects the EMPLOYEE knows all the rules, the BOSS must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The BOSS is never wrong.
6. If the BOSS is wrong, it is because of flagrant misunderstanding, which was a direct result of something the EMPLOYEE did or said wrong.
7. If rule 6 applies, the EMPLOYEE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The BOSS has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
9. The EMPLOYEE must remain calm at all times, unless the BOSS wants him/her to be angry or upset.
10. The BOSS must under no circumstances let the EMPLOYEE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work
1. You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2003.
2. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.
3. You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
4. You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
5. People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
6. No longer content with merely photocopying your hand, you now scan and enhance it with Photoshop.
7. You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs.
8. The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Rules
1. The BOSS always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No EMPLOYEE can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the BOSS suspects the EMPLOYEE knows all the rules, the BOSS must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The BOSS is never wrong.
6. If the BOSS is wrong, it is because of flagrant misunderstanding, which was a direct result of something the EMPLOYEE did or said wrong.
7. If rule 6 applies, the EMPLOYEE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The BOSS has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
9. The EMPLOYEE must remain calm at all times, unless the BOSS wants him/her to be angry or upset.
10. The BOSS must under no circumstances let the EMPLOYEE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
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