Sunday, October 28, 2012
Rave of the Day for October 28, 2012:
I found a few tricks and/or treats languishing in the archives. I think this would rightly be called classic humor, because I got it in 2002, and it was outdated then! "Twilight" didn't even exist yet. Enjoy the nostalgia, courtesy of Ducky:
The top 15 complaints of the modern day vampire:
15) Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14) Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13) Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12) Three Words: Daylight Savings Time.
11) Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren't taken seriously any more.
10) After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9) After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
8) No bat is safe with Ozzy Osbourne around.
7) With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
6) No warm blood for miles around DC.
5) Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4) Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.
3) Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies."
2) Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
And the number 1 complaint of Modern-day Vampires:
1) No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
The top 15 complaints of the modern day vampire:
15) Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14) Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13) Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12) Three Words: Daylight Savings Time.
11) Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren't taken seriously any more.
10) After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9) After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
8) No bat is safe with Ozzy Osbourne around.
7) With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
6) No warm blood for miles around DC.
5) Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4) Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.
3) Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies."
2) Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
And the number 1 complaint of Modern-day Vampires:
1) No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
Comments:
Post a Comment
