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Found this hilarious tidbit lingering in the archives. Don't know who originally sent it to me (probably Ducky), but it was dated 2002....


Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, But Aren't:

"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"

"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."

"Talk about a huge breast!"

"It's Cool Whip time!"

"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"

"Are you ready for seconds yet?"

"Are you going to come again next year?"

"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"

"Don't play with your meat."

"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."

"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"

"You still have a little bit on your chin."

"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."

"How long will it take after you stick it in?"

"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."

"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"

"How many are coming?"

"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"Just lay back & take it easy. I'll do the rest."

"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

Jewish Memorial Prayer:

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
We remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We remember them.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,
We remember them.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

Movie Review: "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1"

Unless you've been living somewhere far removed from Planet Earth, you probably have heard that the next installment of the "Twilight" series has arrived in theatres. While there are only four books, the last one was so complex that it has been divided into two films, the second of which will be released a year from now. I was fortunate enough to catch "Breaking Dawn, Part 1" on the day of its release.

Caution: for those who have not read the books, some of the following might be considered mild spoilers.

The basic story so far is that 18-year-old Bella Swan, after moving to the tiny town of Forks, Washington, has fallen in love with Edward Cullen, a vampire forever frozen at the age of 17. The rival for her affection and loyalty is Jacob Black, a Native American teen who is a werewolf and a natural enemy of vampires. Bella has decided to sacrifice her mortality to become like Edward, on the condition that she marries him first.

"Breaking Dawn" is an appropriate title because it signifies a new beginning for Bella. She has graduated from high school and is ready for the transition of becoming a wife. The film opens with preparations for a wedding at the fantastic Cullen residence. The Cullens, while not biologically related, are all vampires created by the same individual, and they function as a family. They blend into society because they do not consume human blood, instead hunting wildlife as many humans do. The only ones in on the secret are Bella, the werewolves and other vampires. Thus most of the wedding guests are clueless.

The actual wedding is everything for which a Twi-hard could dream. The setting is gorgeous, Bella wears a stunning gown, and Edward is so happy he nearly has color in his cheeks. It's the fairy tale that some women plan from childhood. Yet this also signifies the end of Bella's childhood. She has grown from a girl with an intoxicating crush to a woman taking a forever vow.

Understandably upset about this arrangement is Jacob. His tribe has a temporary truce with the Cullens on the condition that they not harm a human. Bella becoming a vampire would not only violate the treaty, it would also mean the end of his best friend.

When Bella departs for a honeymoon with an unknown destination, her goodbyes to her parents have a double meaning. Her mother and father of course are wistful about losing their little girl to marriage, not knowing that they may never see her again in human form, or indeed in any form. I always found it ironic that dad Charlie is the town's police chief and never figured out that his son-in-law is a vampire or that his best friend's son is a werewolf.

If the wedding weren't fabulous enough, the honeymoon location is even more breathtaking. We all know what is supposed to happen on one's wedding night, but there is a potential problem: Edward is much stronger than a human, and he fears harming Bella. His bride, on the other hand, has the same jitters as any other virgin bride. Their experience is both amusing and beautiful.

Their wedded bliss, however, quickly takes an unexpected turn. Bella becomes pregnant, something that was not thought possible. And the pregnancy does not take the normal human course, but one fairly terrifying.

Bella is rushed to the Cullen's home in secrecy, and excuses are given to her family to prevent them from seeing her. But Jacob is informed of the situation, and he is torn between wanting to help take care of Bella and wanting to exact revenge on Edward.

One tidbit I'd like to pass along. Don't leave until the very end. Most of the audience in my theatre left as soon as the credits started, and they missed an important final scene.

I think "Breaking Dawn" is the best of the movies so far. The storytelling is more fluid, the photography is consistently visually pleasing, and Kristen Stewart's and Robert Pattinson's acting has improved (Taylor Lautner's could still use a bit of work, though). The werewolf sequences are good but not great in terms of looking realistic. There are other effects that I found impressive, but I decline to go into detail as it might spoil a particular scene. The soundtrack is good as always, and as always, there isn't a physically unattractive major character in the film.

As with most adaptations of books, there are some differences in the screen version of the story. "Breaking Dawn" was written from multiple characters' points of view, and except for one scene featuring Jacob, this was not done in the film. Some changes were necessary for ratings purposes. None that I saw were so major that they compromised the story.

Do you need to have read the book to like this movie? No. Do you need to have seen the previous "Twilight" films? Not necessarily, but you might be a bit confused as to why the vampires and werewolves hate each other so intently. Other than that, newbies would probably enjoy this.

"Breaking Dawn, Part 1" is rated PG-13, which is appropriate in this case. There is sex, but it is within the context of marriage, and there is a bit of tasteful nudity but nothing excessive. This film does not contain a high gore content, but some of the content does have a creepiness factor more implied than shown. Parents should decide on an individual basis whether they think their pre-teen should see this. Emotionally mature kids who have read and were okay with the book would probably be fine.

The "Twilight" saga is drawing toward a strange but satisfying conclusion. I left the theatre thoroughly entertained. The only downside is having to wait an entire year for Part 2.

Funny courtesy of Joan....

Video courtesy of Valerie. Have a bloomin' good time watching it:

Life of flowers from VOROBYOFF PRODUCTION on Vimeo.

Got this in an e-mail today from Joan. I've read it before, but it seemed especially pertinent today....


IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)..

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle..

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later... Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's, more 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute; look at it and really see it; live it and never give it back.

Dan's grandfather passed away last night in his sleep. He was 94 years old, and it was probably his time to go. He was a sweet man and will be missed.

Am pretty busy at the moment with arrangements and such. Will post more when and if time and energy allow.

As the saying goes, let peace begin with me. Because I am confined to my home so much of the time, my peace is a small one. My peace is the young rabbit who lives under the porch. It is the world's laziest squirrel draping himself on the deck railing. It is a maple leaf shower. It is the honking of Canada geese winging it southward. It is watching my husband going about his routine and being grateful I have him in my life.

But if you take my tiny peace and add it to all the other bloggers dedicated to the cause, it totals one very significant globe. This year, all 50 states and over 50 countries are represented in the Blog Blast for Peace. Read more about it here:

Mimi Lenox

I will continue to post inspirational quotes, particularly on the subject of peace, on this blog as energy allows. Namaste.

Have been feeling like doo doo the past three weeks or so. My rheumatologist dropped the dose on another of my prescriptions in half, one that modulates my immune system to lessen the effects of diseases like Sjogren's. I had been on it for eight years. This has translated into longer-lasting and more frequent headaches, more joint stiffness and pain, and more need for those annoying 12 hour sleep marathons. I don't see the doctor again until December, and I don't expect to be able to change her mind to let me go back to the old dose, which was apparently more effective than we thought.

I am fighting feelings of being mightily discouraged. At first, I believed I was simply doing too much, so I cut back and stayed home, but it didn't help. Now I am having trouble even doing my basic routine, in particular my much-needed low-level exercise, because I simply cannot get out of bed some days. My computer time is at an all-time low. I hope to get my act together soon, though, because I have a lot of obligations this month.